I’m fond of pets, and as a child I had my share of fish, too. I won a succession of goldfish at a succession of fairs by tossing ping-pong balls into their tiny water-filled globes. Perhaps the shock of those ping-pong balls–light though they may have been–barrelling into their little worlds stunned them in a way that proved fatal, however, because most of the pretty little fish were found (to my sorrow) floating on the surface of the water in our fishtank just a day or two after taking up residence there. There was one particularly hardy specimen who managed to live long and prosper, and I carefully nurtured and fed him (her?) for three years.

So, I wouldn’t say I lack all feeling for fish, not exactly. But I’m afraid I fail to live up to PETA standards. Their fish empathy project is hitting the airwaves, designed to add a new layer of guilt to our lives.

I wish them good luck in New England–ain’t gonna happen. Here in New England, we like our seafood, especially on our plates.