When the mudroom isn’t just a place to put your boots, and oxblood isn’t just a color:
I think Hansel and Gretel’s house may have had one of them, along with a thatched roof and a cozy hearth. In my student days, I lived in a rented house that had one in the basement.
But these dirt floors are different; these dirt floors are chic and upscale.
Or perhaps I should use their more refined name: earthenware floors. According to that linked New York Times article, they are more popular in California and the Southwest than in the east–well, who woulda thunk it?–although not exactly mainstream yet.
But don’t imagine that these are your father’s–or your grandfather’s, or your great-grandfather’s–dirt floors. These are installed by homeowners and/or “natural builders,” the greenest of green architects, who specialize in using materials closest to their natural state.
Modern dirt floors are sealed with linseed oil and beeswax to become “theoretically” (the Times‘s word, not mine) water-repellent. The floors are reputed to reduce heating costs, have an environmentally lighter footprint, and look attractive as well.
The latter quality is where that oxblood comes in–literally, in this case:
Aesthetically, earthen floors are “really special,” said Frank Meyer, a natural builder who has installed 15 in Austin, Tex. “After a while they look like an old cracked leather couch,” he said. “When people walk in, they don’t say, ”˜Oh, nice floor.’ Everyone gets down on their hands and knees to admire it.” Mr. Meyer has used natural pigment to create designs in some floors, and he said some builders add the blood of oxen for maroon coloration.
There are a few problems, of course. High heels leave their mark, even though the floors are finished within an inch of their lives. Dirt floors are not recommended for kitchens or bathrooms, for rather obvious reasons. And a certain Ms. Altenbach, enthusiastic owner of an earthern floor who also owns some matching dogs that aren’t house trained, indicates that the combination can get a bit rustic; she admits that stains are occasionally left on the floor. But she says the:
…imperfections just add to the character of the floors…Some of the stains show, but it only makes these floors more beautiful, like an aging leather jacket.
Yes, I’ve often noticed how dog pee adds a wonderful patina to an old leather jacket, haven’t you?
“I’ve often noticed how dog pee adds a wonderful patina to an old leather jacket, haven’t you?”
Ewwww.
I are from Texas. The Altenbachs are from Austin. That’s not just a different state than Texas. It’s a WHOLE different planet.
Welcome back to the Neolithic, Neo.
Oh goody. Unsanitary chic.
Can’t wait for the NYT to start hyping the old laundry technique of going to the stream and pounding the crap out of the dirty clothes to get then clean.
Well it was interesting until your pessimism ruined it! lol
It’s amazing what people will endure just so that they can feel special.
I really enjoyed Mr. Rowell’s reaction to the fact that his brand new floor already has a six inch crack in it: “It’s an organic thing.” That’s ridiculous. The correct response to a crack in your new floor is, “Dammit!”.
Very funny, Neo. Dry wit/sarcasm at the end, I see. I can even hear you delivering it, based upon your audio casts as a model.
I love the navel-gazing of the elites on display. They have no one around them to tell them it’s a dumb idea.
It’s amazing what people will shell out money for… hilarious in fact. This is just too funny. And they’ve convinced themselves that this is wonderful. I love it.
Well, since the soles of their feet are already black with dirt, what could it hurt?
“I’ve often noticed how dog pee adds a wonderful patina to an old leather jacket, haven’t you?”
You should put a “Swallow all liquids” alert on this one. To save people’s computers, you know. Down Right Hilarious!
“Tressa and Esteban Hollander had such a mess when they forgot to turn off the irrigation system in their earthen-floored garden room in 2005 in Crestone, Colo. Six hundred gallons of water seeped into the floor in two hours, soaking not only that room but the hallway, the dining room and a bedroom. The surface blackened and blistered, destroying the finish, and the entire floor had to be torn up. It took a month to reinstall.
Still, “it would have been a problem no matter what kind of floor we had,” Ms. Hollander said. “It was actually easier to take up the earth floor than a cement or hardwood floor. You just dig it up.” After the cleanup, the couple installed another dirt floor.”
Uh, how dumb do you have to be? If it were a cement floor, there’d be no damage to the floor itself at all. But then, if you’re dumb enough to put an automatic irrigation system inside your house on a dirt floor…
I will say they look beautiful, but…
It’s basically hippie meets yuppie.
I’d also be interested to see if you could even do it under code in more restrictive areas like L.A., where I am.
“I’ve often noticed how dog pee adds a wonderful patina to an old leather jacket, haven’t you?”
Not on my Bambi-hide leather jacket, thank you very much.
My mother grew up in a four-room house, if you count the bathroom, built during the Depression in a small farming town in the Southwest. No dirt floors, but the slatted kitchen floor was a nice touch. Made sweeping up (down?) quite easy. Even then, and dirt poor, they knew better than dirt floors.
By the way, I was born on the dining table in the living room. Maybe a dirt floor would have been better…
What kind of jackass willingly puts in a dirt floor?
I am sooooooooo glad I’m some dumb drop out that doesn’t have the panache to appreciate such things.
Long ago, before it finally dawned on me that the NYT was just a propaganda rag, I used to buy a copy on Sunday. The NYT Magazine actually had an article with photos about how chic it was becoming in NY to set a table with a pile of dirt on it. (This is the truth; I swear it on my children. You could look it up.) Instructions for those wanting to be chic included a method of heating the dirt in the oven to sanitize it.
I think it’s time for a Snappleface article on who cool it is to eat dirt.
From time to time the Wall Street Journal runs lifestyle articles about how rich people in NY and LA spend their extra cash. They’re like bulletins from another world — one where it’s important what table you sit at in a restaurant, or where it’s a good idea to let a stranger decorate the house you live in. They’re not so much ridiculous as simply incomprehensible. This belongs in that category. I cannot imagine wanting a floor made of dirt, nor can I imagine being the kind of person who would.
Trimegistus: Ah, but you haven’t seen one, have you? Maybe they’re really as beautiful as they say. Maybe once you see one, you really want one.
Or maybe not.
Said, presumably with a straight face, “Some builders add the blood of oxen for a maroon color”. Not cows, mind you, oxen! When was the last time you saw an ox bled, sir?
This article is so bizarrely, utterly, absurdly, hysterically funny. Thanks, neo. Truly symptomatic that it appeared in the NYT.
Wonder why they don’t do it right?
In Africa, our nutrition center was traditional huts…right down to the floors. They were NOT dirt. They were a mixture of dried cowdung, termite mound and water. And they could be improved by merely placing a new layer on top.
It was hard, shiny and did NOT smell…
I live on a farm I think I’m going to hollow out some cow tirds and rub them down with bee’s wax and linseed oil . could make nice candie dishes. dog tird salt and pepper shakers might be the next craze lol