Comments on: Getting married: what’s in it for me? (Part I) http://neoneocon.com/2007/11/01/getting-married-whats-in-it-for-me-part-i/ Wed, 23 May 2012 05:44:53 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.3 By: michael savell http://neoneocon.com/2007/11/01/getting-married-whats-in-it-for-me-part-i/#comment-53340 michael savell Tue, 15 Jan 2008 22:46:08 +0000 http://neoneocon.com/2007/11/01/getting-married-whats-in-it-for-me-part-i/#comment-53340 It is patently obvious that the future belongs only to women.The only time they suffer discrimination is through positive discrimination which allows them to steal hitherto male jobs by lowering standards and as for family courts,you must be joking. Most bloggers here agree that men are badly treated by law and,because they know that they can get away with it,by women who take advantage of same laws. I bet you no woman here would be prepared to give up one iota of the rights that have been handed out to them,irrespective of all the fine words It is patently obvious that the future belongs only to women.The only time they suffer discrimination
is through positive discrimination which allows them to steal hitherto male jobs by lowering standards
and as for family courts,you must be joking.
Most bloggers here agree that men are badly treated by law and,because they know that they can get away with it,by women who take advantage of same laws.
I bet you no woman here would be prepared to give up one iota of the rights that have been handed out to them,irrespective of all the fine words

]]> By: advice to young men: don’t get married! « What is Your Own Opinion? http://neoneocon.com/2007/11/01/getting-married-whats-in-it-for-me-part-i/#comment-46712 advice to young men: don’t get married! « What is Your Own Opinion? Wed, 21 Nov 2007 18:57:01 +0000 http://neoneocon.com/2007/11/01/getting-married-whats-in-it-for-me-part-i/#comment-46712 [...] Neo-Neocon weighs in on her post: “Getting Married, What’s in it for Me?” “But I have to say that the level of vitriol expressed in the comments section in [...] [...] Neo-Neocon weighs in on her post: “Getting Married, What’s in it for Me?” “But I have to say that the level of vitriol expressed in the comments section in [...]

]]> By: Gender Wars « Captain Kj http://neoneocon.com/2007/11/01/getting-married-whats-in-it-for-me-part-i/#comment-45754 Gender Wars « Captain Kj Thu, 08 Nov 2007 00:19:16 +0000 http://neoneocon.com/2007/11/01/getting-married-whats-in-it-for-me-part-i/#comment-45754 [...] Get Married?” that caused a ton of controversy (read the comments section). In response, more authors in the conservative blogosphere started to weigh in on the subject, and they, too, seemed to create [...] [...] Get Married?” that caused a ton of controversy (read the comments section). In response, more authors in the conservative blogosphere started to weigh in on the subject, and they, too, seemed to create [...]

]]> By: Ymarsakar http://neoneocon.com/2007/11/01/getting-married-whats-in-it-for-me-part-i/#comment-45586 Ymarsakar Tue, 06 Nov 2007 02:04:15 +0000 http://neoneocon.com/2007/11/01/getting-married-whats-in-it-for-me-part-i/#comment-45586 <b>But my observation is that that, more commonly in divorce proceedings, each person endures some degree of pain, emotional loss, and financial setback, although it’s rare that these are doled out to both sides in exactly equal measure in any particular divorce—how could they be?</b> The question is what motivates initial behaviors. It is not the loss in divorces that caused it, although such things in divorce would make the divorce more acrimonious. There are certain social institutions, society inclinations, laws, and economic incentives for adopting one behavior over another. The government plays a very large part in the calculations that men and women have before and during marriage. If it wasn't for the fear of losing out again on a risky and bad deal, men wouldn't care so much about the past thing. However, such things are repeated and have a very good chance of being repeated, if only because people who start with bad partners usually continue to find bad partners. But my observation is that that, more commonly in divorce proceedings, each person endures some degree of pain, emotional loss, and financial setback, although it’s rare that these are doled out to both sides in exactly equal measure in any particular divorce—how could they be?

The question is what motivates initial behaviors. It is not the loss in divorces that caused it, although such things in divorce would make the divorce more acrimonious. There are certain social institutions, society inclinations, laws, and economic incentives for adopting one behavior over another. The government plays a very large part in the calculations that men and women have before and during marriage.

If it wasn’t for the fear of losing out again on a risky and bad deal, men wouldn’t care so much about the past thing. However, such things are repeated and have a very good chance of being repeated, if only because people who start with bad partners usually continue to find bad partners.

]]> By: br549 http://neoneocon.com/2007/11/01/getting-married-whats-in-it-for-me-part-i/#comment-45457 br549 Sun, 04 Nov 2007 15:22:29 +0000 http://neoneocon.com/2007/11/01/getting-married-whats-in-it-for-me-part-i/#comment-45457 I got the shaft, but at least I got the kids. My ex, if of sound mind, would never have done what she did. In the past 10 years I have received numerous crying -jag phone calls on my answering machine, that have, and forever, will go unanswered. My biggest problem is with "the system". Lawyers, judges, medical. The system requires that someone must pay. Someone clearly not of sound mind can make all kinds of accusations, without proof, and they stick in a court of law, if made against a male. As Pogo in the comics said, "We have met the enemy, and they is us." I truly wish my wife did not explode into her illness, that all with a particle of sense could see was the problem. As I stated above, so does she, when she has short periods of lucidity. It took all I had, and then some, to have my children with me. Not because of anger, revenge, or any of that. But to ensure the best chance for my kids to have a normal life. The system was all too willing to give them to her. Frightening, to me. I could not let that happen. We were together well over 20 years. After the "snap", she was someone else altogether. I no longer knew her, at all. I loved her, deeply, completely at one time, and for many years. I would be with her now, if it were at all possible. The reasons marriages fall apart are many. No one gets married in the hopes it is over some day, and everyone's life gets screwed over. I don't believe anyone decides they want to be a heroin addict, either. But many marriages end, and two people can end up hating each other forever. The kids stand in the middle, loving both parents, wishing this was not happening. Forever scarred to one degree or another. Me, too. Nobody "won" in my families case. What happened in my family, no one IN my family wanted. I got the shaft, but at least I got the kids. My ex, if of sound mind, would never have done what she did. In the past 10 years I have received numerous crying -jag phone calls on my answering machine, that have, and forever, will go unanswered. My biggest problem is with “the system”. Lawyers, judges, medical. The system requires that someone must pay. Someone clearly not of sound mind can make all kinds of accusations, without proof, and they stick in a court of law, if made against a male.

As Pogo in the comics said, “We have met the enemy, and they is us.”

I truly wish my wife did not explode into her illness, that all with a particle of sense could see was the problem. As I stated above, so does she, when she has short periods of lucidity. It took all I had, and then some, to have my children with me. Not because of anger, revenge, or any of that. But to ensure the best chance for my kids to have a normal life. The system was all too willing to give them to her. Frightening, to me. I could not let that happen.

We were together well over 20 years. After the “snap”, she was someone else altogether. I no longer knew her, at all. I loved her, deeply, completely at one time, and for many years. I would be with her now, if it were at all possible.

The reasons marriages fall apart are many. No one gets married in the hopes it is over some day, and everyone’s life gets screwed over. I don’t believe anyone decides they want to be a heroin addict, either. But many marriages end, and two people can end up hating each other forever. The kids stand in the middle, loving both parents, wishing this was not happening. Forever scarred to one degree or another. Me, too. Nobody “won” in my families case. What happened in my family, no one IN my family wanted.

]]> By: Gary Rosen http://neoneocon.com/2007/11/01/getting-married-whats-in-it-for-me-part-i/#comment-45442 Gary Rosen Sun, 04 Nov 2007 07:48:45 +0000 http://neoneocon.com/2007/11/01/getting-married-whats-in-it-for-me-part-i/#comment-45442 Hyman (thankfully no relation!) - I hope you're happy reading leftwing blogs like Kos and HuffPo which are rife with antisemitism whenever the Middle East comes up. Oops, I mean antizionist, leftists can't possibly be bigots unlike those nasty old rightwingers. Hyman (thankfully no relation!) – I hope you’re happy reading leftwing blogs like Kos and HuffPo which are rife with antisemitism whenever the Middle East comes up. Oops, I mean antizionist, leftists can’t possibly be bigots unlike those nasty old rightwingers.

]]> By: Teri Pittman http://neoneocon.com/2007/11/01/getting-married-whats-in-it-for-me-part-i/#comment-45417 Teri Pittman Sat, 03 Nov 2007 22:48:37 +0000 http://neoneocon.com/2007/11/01/getting-married-whats-in-it-for-me-part-i/#comment-45417 Make marriage harder? Most people aren't bothering now. Making marriage harder to get isn't going to even begin to deal with the pain kids are going through when their families break up. And I also agree that too many people break up for frivolous reasons. It used to be understood that the family was an economic unit. Even today, the surest road to poverty is divorce. And we have nonsense like my co-worker who just had a baby with his girlfriend. He doesn't want to get married because it's too big of a step. The big step was having the child, which he will be liable to support for 18 years! We need to stop bashing marriage. We need to stop saying that everyone gets divorced. We need to encourage folks to try and work things out, to take time before they take the step to divorce. Most marriages are not ending because of physical violence. Mostly, it's just indifference. Make marriage harder? Most people aren’t bothering now. Making marriage harder to get isn’t going to even begin to deal with the pain kids are going through when their families break up. And I also agree that too many people break up for frivolous reasons. It used to be understood that the family was an economic unit. Even today, the surest road to poverty is divorce. And we have nonsense like my co-worker who just had a baby with his girlfriend. He doesn’t want to get married because it’s too big of a step. The big step was having the child, which he will be liable to support for 18 years!

We need to stop bashing marriage. We need to stop saying that everyone gets divorced. We need to encourage folks to try and work things out, to take time before they take the step to divorce. Most marriages are not ending because of physical violence. Mostly, it’s just indifference.

]]> By: LabRat http://neoneocon.com/2007/11/01/getting-married-whats-in-it-for-me-part-i/#comment-45392 LabRat Sat, 03 Nov 2007 15:58:13 +0000 http://neoneocon.com/2007/11/01/getting-married-whats-in-it-for-me-part-i/#comment-45392 "Empower women"? Usually that language makes me want to run screaming. While I think there is still plenty of sexism around, most of that directed toward women isn't the sort that can be fixed or even remotely helped with a law. So yeah, I'd vote for that candidate, assuming they didn't also hold some other position I was violently opposed to. “Empower women”? Usually that language makes me want to run screaming. While I think there is still plenty of sexism around, most of that directed toward women isn’t the sort that can be fixed or even remotely helped with a law.

So yeah, I’d vote for that candidate, assuming they didn’t also hold some other position I was violently opposed to.

]]> By: Ken Hahn http://neoneocon.com/2007/11/01/getting-married-whats-in-it-for-me-part-i/#comment-45382 Ken Hahn Sat, 03 Nov 2007 13:31:22 +0000 http://neoneocon.com/2007/11/01/getting-married-whats-in-it-for-me-part-i/#comment-45382 LabRat, may I ask a question? Your position makes a lot of sense and I can appreciate the logic. You have stated the present legal system is unfair. So, would you vote for a candidate that made an issue of this or would you be drawn to on who promised to empower women, all other things being equal? I realize the question isn't fair and all other things are never equal but the injustice in this issue is usually not much of a consideration. LabRat, may I ask a question? Your position makes a lot of sense and I can appreciate the logic. You have stated the present legal system is unfair. So, would you vote for a candidate that made an issue of this or would you be drawn to on who promised to empower women, all other things being equal?

I realize the question isn’t fair and all other things are never equal but the injustice in this issue is usually not much of a consideration.

]]> By: sam http://neoneocon.com/2007/11/01/getting-married-whats-in-it-for-me-part-i/#comment-45358 sam Fri, 02 Nov 2007 19:49:19 +0000 http://neoneocon.com/2007/11/01/getting-married-whats-in-it-for-me-part-i/#comment-45358 "In the next decade the only properly functioning families would be religion-based: Evangelical, Catholic, Mormon or Orthodox Jewish. These are the only segments of society that feel necessary to reproduce themselves - and do it. Others will get extinct in two generations." (Sergey, 11/1/2007, 11:20 am) I have read somewhere that religious belief is an evolutionary survival skill. Sergey is onto something. “In the next decade the only properly functioning families would be religion-based: Evangelical, Catholic, Mormon or Orthodox Jewish. These are the only segments of society that feel necessary to reproduce themselves – and do it. Others will get extinct in two generations.” (Sergey, 11/1/2007, 11:20 am)

I have read somewhere that religious belief is an evolutionary survival skill. Sergey is onto something.

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