Comments on: You can go home again—at fifty?

By: Bugs

Bugs — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 21:59:36 +0000

I think my own mother dreams of having me move back home. On the other hand, my father and I would probably end up killing each other. (He’s a trained killer, but he’s really, really old - so I figure we’re about evenly matched now.) I’d have to say moving back home would be a psychological disaster on many levels.

Or, as Grouch Marx put it:

“Living with your folks… living with your folks… the beginning of the end. Drab, dead yesterdays shutting out beautiful tomorrows. Hideous, stumbling footsteps creaking along the misty corridors of time. And in those corridors I see figures… straaange figures… weeeird figures: Steel 186, Anaconda 74, American Can 138.”

By: Rick

Rick — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 23:40:41 +0000

Speaking as a loser who did live with his parents after I should have, for an extended period no less, sometimes it is needed. I encountered certain disasters on my way to adulthood. My parents put me up for a while when I was recovering. For that I am eternally grateful. And the result was that I grew up so most likely I won’t be returning in my 50’s. On the other hand, having experienced various disasters, I have sympathy for people in those desperate circumstances. Given the total lack of stability that has become part of modern life. Sometimes one needs help. One only need feel ashamed or embarassed if one never gets back on one’s feet again.

By: Perfected democrat

Perfected democrat — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 00:56:02 +0000

Excellent comments Rick, people are quite pretentious, and smug about others. Some of it is cultural, too, extended families living together is very common, especially where economic circumstances dictate the need to share lives. I hope to bring my father (95) home near the bitter end, if possible, to keep him out of a nursing home… that isn’t so much different than if he let me come “home” because of misfortune or simply being of humble identity.

By: Assistant Village Idiot

Assistant Village Idiot — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 02:16:53 +0000

I will guess that the sudden increase is overblown. It times of actual tragedy, people have always moved in with relatives, and grown children moving in with their parents is just one aspect of this.

Also, moving in with parents to help them through their declining years - which we do not cast aspersions on - versus moving in for one’s own needs is not always a clean distinction. Sometimes the situation is mutually beneficial, and who is depending on whom a matter for debate.

Just asking…have they found a way to blame it on Bush?

By: Foxfier

Foxfier — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 03:14:01 +0000

I helped my Mom through a knee replacement surgery this time, last year.

Some folks think I was just “avoiding work” in that time–I had my own place, but stayed with mom and dad for most of it, because Dad needed the help on the ranch.

On an side-topic…I cried when I read that poem.

I can see that in my life experience– we have a hired man on the ranch who is very close. He can’t really do much, but we keep him because home is someplace they have to accept you.

Thank you for the good cry.

By: Typical White Person

Typical White Person — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 05:11:16 +0000

Hey, if all parties accept the situation then why would anyone else care? It’s not your money, your house or your living situation so concentrate on your own lives.

Now if biased media decides to make a political issue out of it, that’s another story.

By: camojack

camojack — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 05:33:49 +0000

Well, I’m 50 now…and I could probably go live with my mother; she’s got plenty of room.

My father, OTOH, has a small house…

By: SteveH

SteveH — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 10:57:17 +0000

I tried moving back once. I think it was after the second week of asking my mother not to make up my bed or wash my clothes that i couldn’t take it any more.

Its possible to love someone enough that you can never live with them it seems.

By: njartist

njartist — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 13:25:46 +0000

I moved back to my Mother’s when I needed to retrain; I could move back out despite her being 92: so what if she falls and dies within two weeks. I could send her to one of my brother’s homes: their marriages would be over in less than a year as her poison destroys their marriage: but what the hell, at least no one would able calling me weak or a wimp.

Screw duty: what’s important is that no one think you’re weak.
———————
The bible states quite clearly that one is not to turn their back on their own blood.

And, given what I’ve seen in the Chinese community as they help each other, I deeply suspect that this animosity is a white disease.

By: Americaneocon

Americaneocon — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 15:47:17 +0000

I saw this on the news, and was joking to my 12 year-old that we’d keep his room available!

LOL!!

By: holdfast

holdfast — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 22:08:40 +0000

I would never go back by choice, but I know that in a real emergency my folks would have me. It’s nice to know that - and I’ll try very hard to repay their generosity by never taking them up on it. I think it really only becomes problematic where the offspring (can’t say child) is leaching off of the parents’ scarce resources or using the arrangement as a way to hide from their life (or lack thereof).