October 30th, 2008

Please do your best to celebrate: it’s National Candy Corn Day

No doubt all of my readers, being unusually well-informed people, were already aware that today is National Candy Corn Day.

But did you know it is estimated that in this country twenty million pounds of the classic treat (invented in the 1880s) are sold every year? I personally might be responsible for approximately a ton of that if I gave in to my worst impulses. However, I keep my addiction in tightly-controlled check.

It is part of my penance to confess here that I really like the dreadful stuff and always have. Once I even went to a Halloween party dressed as a piece of candy corn, and believe me I was already a grownup.

Apparently I am not the only adult who has dressed up as candy corn on Halloween. And no, I didn’t look like this—more’s the pity (although to be technical, isn’t she dressed as two pieces of candy corn, the body and the hat?):

candycorncostume.gif

I am not alone in my shameful liking for the tricolor tooth-destroyer. I heard on Fox News (can’t give a link here because I was unable to find the information online) that candy corn is the Halloween treat most often stolen by parents from their kids’ Halloween stash. I believe this to be undeniably true. It is a guilty, shameful secret for most, but I am glad this is finally seeing the light of day.

Even some fanatically health-consciously vegans seem to crave candy corn although alas, the treat is off-limits to them because of its animal-related ingredients. Animal ingredients? If you doubt my words, just take a look:

Sugar, Corn Syrup, Salt, Honey, Soy Protein, Gelatin, Confectioner’s Glaze, Dextrose, Artificial Flavor, Titanium Dioxide Color, Artificial Colors (Yellow 6, Yellow 5, Red 3, Blue 1)

Gelatin and honey must be the big no-nos. But happily, a thoughtful vegan (are there any other kind?) mother has come to the rescue with a recipe for candy corn so complex and labor-intensive that it undoubtedly reflects a devotion to the stuff even more intense than mine. Try it if you dare—and if you are insane.

There are various gourmet variations on candy corn, and I’ve sampled quite a few in my day. To my mind they can’t compare to good old Brach’s. But after watching the following highly informative video, I may just try some Goelitz:

And here’s a burning question I was reminded of by the video: do you eat your candy corn in sections? And, if so, do you consider the top to be the yellow part or the white part? I’ve always seen the little white triangle as the “foot” of the candy corn, but I learned when I designed my costume years ago that most people see it the other way. For those who might be inclined to disagree with me, I offer the following exhibit from the realm of science:

corn-components.jpg

[NOTE: I hadn't known till I glanced at this handy---rhymes with "candy"---calendar that the month of October, sadly almost over, was National Caramel Month. Perhaps next year I will be able to give that fact the attention it so richly deserves. And tomorrow---Halloween proper---is National Caramel Apple Day. Now, that's a food I've never understood. Seems to me that it's almost impossible to eat. Unlike candy corn, which is simplicity itself.]

25 Responses to “Please do your best to celebrate: it’s National Candy Corn Day”

  1. vanderleun Says:

    Okay, okay…. can we get back to the Jello Molds now? Maybe a Jello Mold with candy corn in suspension.

  2. Uh-huh Says:

    Vaderleun: Rofl, I was thinking the same thing about jello molds — I’d rather a jello post, I can’t stand candy corn.

    I actually kinda like jello too.

    But thank you Neo, for the laugh.

    :)

  3. Mrs Whatsit Says:

    The WHITE is the top. It is to be eaten first. Then the yellow bottom part. Last, the orange middle. No exceptions. (And let’s not even discuss that other so-called candy corn with BROWN segments. Pretender.)

    Every Halloween I am annoyed anew because they don’t sell the stuff in small, individual-helping bags that an addicted person could buy without acquiring a whole dangerous pound of the stuff!

  4. neo-neocon Says:

    vanderleun: hmmm, jello mold with candy corn—now there’s a fabulous idea that had never occurred to me before.

    Not quite the same, but here’s a helpful recipe for a truly and deeply revolting tiered-pudding-and-candy-corn extravaganza (one could put extra candy corn inside, for a little October Surprise). I do think the order of the colors should be reversed to better resemble the original, however:

    candycornpudding2.jpg

  5. vanderleun Says:

    Jesus wept.

    And then his teeth fell out.

  6. SteveH Says:

    You know if the color was different i just might snack on em. Something about the color that just isn’t appetizing.

    Maybe some evolutionary throwback i aquired that keeps humans from eating poisoned berrys? Thats my story and i’m sticking to it.

  7. gcotharn Says:

    Y’all can love the candy corn. I love the word “viscous” in the video. One of the best words ever. Sexy, even.

    Viscous candy helps not viscera, but, rather, visceral psyche in a vast universe.

  8. GeoPal Says:

    All in all, an appalling misuse of sugar and honey. Now the Candy dressed as candy corn? Altogether another matter.

  9. KBK Says:

    Every year my mother-in-law gave me a small bag of candy corn because she knew I was fond of it.

    She died last summer. Your post brought her to mind again.

    I realized I’d be on my own this year. While I was out today, I went to three places to buy a little of my old favorite. There was none to be found, all sold out because of your post….

  10. God's Dancing Child Says:

    This is a horrible, disgusting truth: I too, love candy corn. Sweet, buttery, oh mylanta. I need some right now.
    I must have some.

    Oh, and as much as I love chocolate, the “chocolate” candy corn are an abomination. SICK.

    I think I want to learn how to make them now. Thanks for shorting out a keyboard with the drool you caused me to create. ;)

  11. njartist Says:

    Mmmm… Candy corn. D’oh!

  12. Cappy Says:

    This blog just gets better and better! Always was a big candy corn fan, it was my favorite on Haloween.

    I wonder when National Martini Month is?

  13. rickl Says:

    I’m not a big candy eater. I go for chocolate when I indulge. But for what it’s worth, I always considered the white part the “foot” even though I did eat it first.

  14. Baklava Says:

    C H O C O L A T E !

    or…

    P i z z a

    or…

    W i n e

    (no thanks to the candy corn!) :)

  15. csimon Says:

    I’ve gotta go with Mrs. Whatsit: White is the top. And yes, OCD-me generally compels me to eat it in little bites of color starting at the top (white).

    Thanks and no thanks to the video: Sort of neat to know that the secret ingredient is marshmallow! Who doesn’t like marshmallow (especially creamy marshmallow, the way they add it). BUT, don’t think I’ll ever look at candy corn again in the same way (or with the same obssessive need to consume the sugary treat) after learning that WAX is used to give it the smooth shiny coating in the tumbling process!
    (Altho’ now that I think of it, when I was very young, the use of wax with candy was very popular — anyone remember wax “lips” and those little wax bottles of sweet liquid (you bit off the top, drank the liquid and some chewed the wax(?). (not me). Haven’t thought of that stuff in decades!

  16. Peter the Alaskan Kid Says:

    Do vegans really not eat honey? Bees have to process nectar to make it but it doesn’t exactly come from them. Is that being cruel to the bees to take some of their honey?

  17. kamper Says:

    Candy corn is the worst candy ever. Well, actually, they’re the second worst. These things are the worst candy ever.

    http://www.oldtimecandy.com/circus-peanuts.htm

  18. Oh, bother Says:

    I cheerfully negotiated away all my candy corn for Smarties. And I’d do it again!

  19. Beverly Says:

    Obama tonight, said, “In just five days– we will overturn the failed policies of DECADES.”

    He said this at a rally in Columbia, Missouri, tonight. And went on to say that he was going to “take the United States in a whole new direction.”

    Yup. Just your garden-variety Democrat, folks.

    DECADES. This means he aims to overturn the usual DEMOCRAT policies, too. He’s crowing already, and he’s planning to govern from a hard-Left position.

    I tried to find the clip on Youtube and the Greta Van Susteren website (they aired this bit of his speech as it was streaming live, then cut to a prepared Joe the Plumber segment, and I was in shock). But it’s too soon for either.

    I also went on the Obama website and got seriously creeped out: “Join the Movement!” Cult of personality stuff writ large; Nothing about being “American,” nothing, even, about being a gung-ho Democrat.

    Y’all, this guy has to be stopped. He’s going to do irreparable damage to our nation.

    I posted this on another contrarian blog, and a smart aleck replied that Reagan had used the same phrase. I couldn’t find evidence of that on Google, though, so I don’t credit it. And to imply that the two men would mean anything remotely similar by it is insane.

    I tried to find a clip of this on Youtube (no dice, too soon) and on BO’s website–boy, was that a creepy experience. Talk about Cultism! “Join the MOVEMENT,” everyone called by their first names, no sign of patriotism, not even a reference to the Democrat Party, for heaven’s sake. This is bad, folks.

    At any rate, as I watched it (on Greta’s show on Fox), I was hit full-force with the conviction that this guy thinks he has it in the bag, and his colossal arrogance, always ill-concealed, has led him to crow in triumph before the fact.

    And let the mask slip.

  20. Beverly Says:

    Oh, I do love candy corn, too! just feeling so blasted by this election. :-(

    night, all…

  21. Jamie Says:

    Candy corn and butter mints – two candies I love but never, ever buy. I waste my money on chocolate. Occasionally Starburst. But I used to love going to weddings as a kid so I could snarf the butter mints.

    Nowadays, brides and grooms seem to think they have to give their guests something “different” and “special” and “inedible” – a friend just gave CDs of the songs that tell the story of her and her new husband’s relationship. Since she has great taste in music, it’s an excellent CD, but Lord help the hip-hop aficionado who attended. Butter mints might’ve been welcomed by that person.

    White first, orange next, yellow last. Two bites for the yellow part. Yum!

  22. The Real Jeff Says:

    You want a real taste treat? Mix your candy corn with Planters dry roasted peanuts! Sweet and salty in every bite.

  23. Ymarsakar Says:

    Amazing, Neo. Absolutely amazing.

  24. J. Peden Says:

    Candy Corn is close enough to the Food Pyramid for me!

  25. Oh, bother Says:

    Oh, yeah, and on those occasions I couldn’t bargain away my candy corn … by the small handful. That’s right, several at one time. I guess that makes me a philistine.

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About Me

Previously a lifelong Democrat, born in New York and living in New England, surrounded by liberals on all sides, I've found myself slowly but surely leaving the fold and becoming that dread thing: a neocon.
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