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The candy corn chronicles — 13 Comments

  1. Next time melt it gently down, store away and use it as a syrup for tea or cakes waffles or the like.

  2. “I will spare my readers further details of my travails in that endeavor. ”

    You can admit your licked your fingers. We’ll understand if not approve.

  3. This is hysterical. The mental image of your doing this is priceless.

    Neo, I take my leftover candy to the office, and feed it to the Skinny People. It’s the only way to go.

    BTW, I (just barely) resisted buying the 75% off bag. I did buy the earlier, 50% off bag. [sigh] Months of penance ahead!

  4. Reminds me of the time I decided to ‘mash’ potatoes with a food processor. You get library paste.

  5. I bought mine before Halloween, on the way home from work on a tired night when my resistance was low and the siren song of Neo-neocon praising the glories of candy corn had been more than I could resist. I ate what I needed while I drove an unusual way home, on an unfamiliar narrow back road that twisted along a creek through a dark hollow where rocks and trees and water and the occasional mobile home were the only witnesses. I tossed what was left of the candy corn out the window. I hope the foxes and possums and ants are enjoying it. I’ll be able to wait now, easily enough, until next year.

  6. Don’t throw it out, it will be needed for adhesive for the 20×30 ft posters which will be adorning edifices everywhere during the Grand Obamadork’s third term in the White House…

  7. But no. It turns out that candy corn, softened by the water and ground into smaller pieces, takes on exactly and precisely the consistency of that horrible white paste that was ubiquitous in the school art projects of my youth. It immediately stopped the disposal in its tracks, forcing me to reach in and manually clear the gummed-up works.

    The Candy Corn Insurgents will not be oppressed be for long, Neo. They will not stay down, they will Rise UP.

  8. Well, as a constant reader I was going to suggest a way to deal with the compulsion to buy candy corn and the desire not to eat it: send it to me (address furnished upon request) and I’ll allow you the vicarious enjoyment.

    However, Mike has made me properly ashamed of myself and in fact I have kept those e-mail addresses on file and sometime after Thanksgiving I’ll buy a large box of something that isn’t likely to melt and send it to some soldier or Marine.

  9. Young lady, the garbage disposal is for the stuff rinsed off dishes. Bulk waste products must go in the garbage, if, as is evidently the case, you do not have chickens or a pig.

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