Every now and then the creativity of the email spammers and phishers brings a smile to may face. Perhaps you’ll agree with me that the following demonstrates a certain flair and, shall we say, audacity:
I will like to start with reminding you that your unclaimed inheritance is still lurking around, up till now I am amazed at the way you have ignored all the notice I have sent out to you.
Upon the receipt of this mail I will want you to reconfirm to me your details and also tell me the reason why you have kept quiet all the while; I do believe you should have a logical answer to that.
Oh dear, oh dear, I better come up with something good.
And then there’s this:
This message will be the last notice that I will be sending out to you.
Is that a promise?
Previously a lifelong Democrat, born in New York and living in New England, surrounded by liberals on all sides, I've found myself slowly but surely 
March 17th, 2009 at 5:43 pm
Hey, it’s the audacity of hope.
I wonder if these guys ever realize that their English structure just isn’t right. I’m not saying it is grammatically incorrect – it doesn’t seem so to me, but grammar skills are fair-to-middling. But it is idiomatically stilted.
Native speakers don’t write like that.
March 17th, 2009 at 6:59 pm
My favorites are the ones I get occasionally with a pic of a willowy, blonde, twenty-something surfer girl that begin, “Hi! I got your name from a friend. I’m just looking for cool guy to hang out with.” To paraphrase the late, great Groucho Marx, “I don’t want anything to do with a willowy, blonde, twenty-something, and obviously desperate, surfer girl who wants to “hang out” with an aging, balding, 61 year old Baby Boomer like me.”
March 18th, 2009 at 8:50 am
Ha! I just got that one yesterday, and it made me smile, too!
March 18th, 2009 at 5:54 pm
It’s the spammers who write saying they’ve seen me on Facebook and were just so impressed and want to know me.
…I don’t do Facebook.
…but I do recall the recent spam from the guy giving me “one last chance” …to receive someone else’s inheritance.
March 18th, 2009 at 6:24 pm
To paraphrase the late, great Groucho Marx
Ah, you’re tapping the wisdom of the wrong guy. You need to try a little George Burns:
You’re only as old as the women you feel.