October 29th, 2009

Get ready for Candy Corn Day

[NOTE: This is a repost of a previous article. As a public service, I decided to edit it a bit and then publish it earlier this year, one day before Candy Corn Day, in order to give all you aficionados sufficient time to get ready.]

No doubt all of my readers, being unusually well-informed people, were already aware that tomorrow is National Candy Corn Day.

But did you know it is estimated that in this country twenty million pounds of the classic treat (invented in the 1880s) are sold every year? I personally might be responsible for approximately a ton of that if I gave in to my worst impulses. However, I try to keep my addiction in tightly-controlled check.

It is part of my penance to confess here that I really like the dreadful stuff and always have. Once I even went to a Halloween party dressed as a piece of candy corn, and I was already a grownup.

Apparently I am not the only adult who has dressed up as candy corn on Halloween. And no, I didn’t look like this—more’s the pity (although to be technical, isn’t she dressed as two pieces of candy corn, the body and the hat?):

candycorncostume.gif

I am not alone in my shameful liking for the tricolor tooth-destroyer. I heard on Fox News (can’t give a link here because I was unable to find the information online) that candy corn is the Halloween treat most often stolen by parents from their kids’ Halloween stash. I believe this to be undeniably true. It is a guilty, shameful secret for most, but I am glad this is finally seeing the light of day.

Even some fanatically health-consciously vegans seem to crave candy corn although alas, the treat is off-limits to them because of its animal-related ingredients. Animal ingredients? If you doubt my words, just take a look:

Sugar, Corn Syrup, Salt, Honey, Soy Protein, Gelatin, Confectioner’s Glaze, Dextrose, Artificial Flavor, Titanium Dioxide Color, Artificial Colors (Yellow 6, Yellow 5, Red 3, Blue 1)

Gelatin and honey must be the big no-nos. But happily, a thoughtful vegan (are there any other kind?) mother has come to the rescue with a recipe for candy corn so complex and labor-intensive that it undoubtedly reflects a devotion to the stuff even more intense than mine. Try it if you dare—and if you are insane.

There are various gourmet variations on candy corn, and I’ve sampled quite a few in my day. To my mind they can’t compare to good old Brach’s. But after watching the following highly informative video, I may just try some Goelitz:

And here’s a burning question I was reminded of by the video: do you eat your candy corn in sections? And, if so, do you consider the top to be the yellow part or the white part? I’ve always seen the little white triangle as the “foot” of the candy corn, but I learned when I designed my costume years ago that most people see it the other way. For those who might be inclined to disagree with me, I offer the following exhibit from the realm of science:

corn-components.jpg

Happy eating. And oh—I’m done with candy corn this year. I’ve already OD’d.

9 Responses to “Get ready for Candy Corn Day”

  1. Mrs Whatsit Says:

    Oh, no, not again! I am still carrying around some extra padding that resulted directly from this post last time it appeared.

  2. vanderleun Says:

    Remember to ask your dentist to replace any teeth lost to candy corn with candy corn. The let a smile be your umbrella.

  3. csimon Says:

    Since last year’s post on this subject, everytime I see someone eating candy corn, I feel a compulsion to ask them which end they consider the top and which end the bottom.

    In the interim, I’ve noticed that my father (who will turn 87 in 11 days) is an addict! He keeps this little Zip-Loc bag next to his “TV chair” which is filled with candy corn primarily, some Good N Plenty for variety, and usually a few of the really cheap sugar chewy jelly beans (no Russell Stover’s divine beans for him!) Immediately after dinner, he settles in his chair, puts his little bag on his tummy, and has his “sugar shot” for the night. I’m always amazed at his self–control! He eats his self-alloted portion and the puts it aside for next day. And it ALWAYS goes to the movies with him!

    Best part is, his teeth long ago were gradually replaced with very expensive, non-rotting implants, so no more cavities!

    I’ll be most ecstatic if he can keep re-filling up his little bag and enjoying his candy corn for many years to come!

  4. neo-neocon Says:

    csimon: Your father’s remarkable self-restraint may be one of the reasons he’s reaching the age of 87. Happy birthday to him!

  5. D. B. light Says:

    While researching a post for today I came across this factoid. According to Brach’s they sell enough candy corn each year that, if the kernels were laid end-to-end, they would circle the Earth four times.

  6. Lame-R Says:

    It’s good to know I’m not the only one who HAS to have some candy corn every year at this time. It’s not even a temptation the rest of the year, but Halloween would not be complete for me w/out this yummy treat!

  7. Velociman Says:

    According to that Wiki entry you are correct: the yellow part is the top. Yet another building block of knowledge crumbles for me.

  8. rickl Says:

    I’m not a real big candy eater, but the clue is in the name: Candy Corn. It’s supposed to resemble a kernel of corn. Therefore, the fat part is the top. Duh. :)

  9. rickl Says:

    Oh, and Happy Halloween!

    I’m hoping to see the Phillie Phanatic dressed in a Yankee uniform tonight. As least that’s what I would do if I had my druthers.

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About Me

Previously a lifelong Democrat, born in New York and living in New England, surrounded by liberals on all sides, I've found myself slowly but surely leaving the fold and becoming that dread thing: a neocon.
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