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And the job with the highest divorce rate is… — 33 Comments

  1. Not exactly the best reporting there; there’s no illumination given for why certain jobs correlate to the divorce rate reported for it. Nor is there any indication of the sample sizes or the number of years the data covers, so there’s no indication that those numbers permanently correlate to those rates. This is strictly a demographic survey, nothing more; it sure as heck doesn’t perform any illumination above and beyond the “Oh… that’s interesting…” level.

    Now, had there been some decent analysis behind this, it might be a better read.

    ——

    All seriousness aside: “Media & communication equipment workers — 0% divorce rate…” People in those professions get married?? That’s a surprise! 😉

  2. A long time ago, I saw a poll that indicated that chemical engineers have the lowest divorce rate. Wonder if that is still true and if so, I wonder why?

    (Full disclosure – I have a B.S in Ch. Eng.)

  3. ACtually they are in the class of teachers, and teachers have the highest… (they are with young people all day, so over time, this wears on the wife, or the husband in different ways (because were the same))

  4. It’s obvious that without the anchoring effect of those exotic/erotic dancers that the divorce rate would be THROUGH THE ROOF!

  5. Two friends of mine have married dancers (of the ballet). Two divorces ensued. They are two of the nicest guys I know, both happily enjoying subsequent marriages of long duration. I only met one of the dancing wives; she was, shall we say, a little too tightly wrapped.

  6. Actually I wonder if that point is well taken. I remember a story about a six man US team that went to Brazil for some reason. Five married high class Brazilian ladies and one married a prostitute. Guess which marriage succeeded? (note: I am not suggesting all prostitutes make good spouses.)

  7. Sorry, neo, your excuse does not convince.

    As speculation, I would suggest that artistic types in general are more likely to rationalize what they want, and more likely to follow up on their whims (both going in and going out).

    Dancers are probably one of the more egotistical types of artists — they aren’t just creating something lasting (at least not until modern video equipment enabled it) but something that demands, “Look at me!! RIGHT NOW!!“, and, unlike “acting”, there is a lot of interpretation involved that is not only more subtle but more “BS-able” — so they combine the “look at me now” egotism WITH the presumptive arrogance of any non-representational artist (“I dance what I feel”)…

    Note that none of this is a value judgment, but it suggests an appeal to a certain variety of personality which probably classes as “doesn’t play well with others”. And would thus lead to a high divorce rate.

  8. During my years flying the line, the profession of airline pilot was afflicted with a high divorce rate. Lots of time away from home, much exposure to temptation (though not as much as people believe), and odd schedules in exotic locales seem to contribute.

    Fortunately for me, I saw many go through the mill (Divorce, big financial costs, incredible anger, and cynicism.) not once but even two or more times. It was a cautionary tale for me. When my marriage was in a rough patch, I knew that ending it would probably not improve my life. So, we stuck it out, worked through it, and things got better. Glad I had those examples to learn from.

    Just saw one of my old divorced friends a couple of months ago. He’s broke, living in a motor home, and is one lonely SOB. Sobering to think that might have been my fate.

  9. I noticed that the least-divorced slide had several types of engineers listed. Maybe we are so boring that we never fight enough to divorce? j/k

    I did notice that several of the jobs on that list (incl. the very classy picture of the flame-blowing bartender) seem to be jobs that would be taken by people that might be referred to as “bottom-dwellers”, who have never been very much known for marital fidelity, if you get what I am saying. IOW, maybe certain jobs are taken by people already prone to promiscuity and therefore divorce.

    Although, tying into the Brazilian story, some “higher-ups” are worse bottom-dwellers than actual bottom-dwellers. I wonder where “Politician” was on that list?

  10. I thought ballet WAS erotic dancing? Being a prude, of course, that has been why I have declined so many opportunities to go to such events. Though, I have been known to fib and twist things a hair. No, urhm, punnish interjection intended.

  11. I wonder if asking about dedication to a profession might not make a difference. Perhaps professional dancers are so dedicated or the profession requires such commitment that no time is left for a significant other.

  12. In all fairness, couldn’t George Balanchine (God rest his soul) skew the stats on choreographers all by himself? Also, my wife used to dance and finds this poll, well, unsurprising. Fortunately, she’s married to a soon to be engineer, so I THINK we’ve got a chance! That, and the fact that she’s a saint…

  13. All seriousness aside: “Media & communication equipment workers – 0% divorce rate…” People in those professions get married??

    Can’t get divorced if you never get married.

    (Still, 0%… it makes one suspicious. Were media & communication workers involved in bringing this survey to us, mayhaps?…)

    I think it was Woody Allen (back when he was actually funny) who said: “50% of marriages today end in divorce. But hey, the other 50% end in death… just think, you could be one of the lucky ones!”

    cheers,
    DiB

  14. Militant Bibliophile: In the original, slightly longer, version of this post, I was planning to make that exact same joke about Balanchine.

  15. Steve: yes. Males, anyway.

    But until now at least, they were very unlikely to get married, and thus didn’t feature in the divorce stats. You have to be married to get divorced.

  16. IGotBupkis: well, I’m thinking of ballet dancers primarily, who are an odd lot. They tend to have (with exceptions, of course) the following personal characteristics:

    (1) driven and perfectionistic
    (2) self-doubting and cognizant of their own flaws, particularly physical ones
    (3) physically exhausted and perpetually undernourished
    (4) nightowls

    In my experience, ballet dancers are neither egotistical nor arrogant. Au contraire (see especially #2)–which, of course, can lead to problems, too.

  17. “I noticed that the least-divorced slide had several types of engineers listed.”

    I suspect that in this case it is because an engineering profession tends to attract people who are very methodical and not really risk takers. At the very least risk is a calculated thing and most tend to want to know the risks before doing it (some of us take large risks with thier lifes – such as pushing the limits of safety in sky diving – but marriage tends not to be something most people want “risk” in).

    This means fewer marriages but of those that do they are more likely to succeed. Further I suspect that personality traits tend to have the “other side” truly love them (most of us are not really people oriented, for someone to stick with us that long generally means they truly care) or our professions tend to generate long term high wealth so the gold diggers stay happy.

    Lastly – assuming all the above is true – engineering fields tend to *require* that attitude so there is a great deal of homogeneity in the engineering ranks. Artists do not have to be emotional risk takers at all even if it may disproportionately attract that type – engineers *have* to be methodical obsessive people who avoid risk without benefits. That is, ultimately, the primary description of our jobs – it just a matter of is that applied to chemistry, industrial processes, software, mechanical devices, or any of the engineering practices.

    I have to be reminded of Supercomputing in the early 2000’s, we were at the opening gala and there are between 1000-1500 software engineers/researchers. They have a live band, a buffet, and a large dance floor along with free alcohol. The singers were trying to get people to dance and at most they literally had 10 people on the dance floor. The single most amusing part was when they asked us all to clap. quit playing, and there was simply silence as we were all sitting down and watching them play. You could tell they thought they were totally bombing, yet everyone I knew greatly enjoyed it and declared it one of the better shows at Supercomputing. And no – contrary to popular belief once you get to that level that are a great deal of females too so there were plenty of people to go around dancing, it is just that obviously isn’t something most of us do.

    That was without a doubt one of the most homogeneic groups I have ever been in – I suspect that when you look at our core principles you got VERY high percentages.

  18. Anna:

    I noticed that the least-divorced slide had several types of engineers listed. Maybe we are so boring that we never fight enough to divorce? j/k

    Boring? Back in the day, a fellow student came across an article in some engineering-related magazine: ”Who Says Engineers Are Boring?” It was an article about an engineer who in his spare time was a volunteer street crossing guard for a school. We had a laugh over that one.

  19. Ummm, I’d also point to #1, which leads to ANY of
    a) an unwillingness to compromise,
    b) a tendency to be massively annoying in pickiness and fussiness
    c) an unwillingness to forgive when faced with being forced to compromise by exigent circumstance.

    So my overall thesis — that this is hardly surprising: that the typical “dancer personality” is problematic and renders a group that doesn’t “play well with others” — still holds, you’ve just identified a group who might have slightly different reasons for their lack of playing well.

  20. Engineers probably have low divorce rates because they make good money and can usually get steady jobs, the opposite of dancer-artists.

  21. Bob,
    there is an old Soviet-time joke about marriage: “being incalculated marriage* is not such a bad thing if the calculation was correct from the start”.

    Applies to engineers’ marriages perfectly, I think

    *as opposed to love marriage.

  22. I expected it to be shift workers – especially rotating shifts. Those can be hard on relationships.

  23. neo, if most male dancers are gay, the high divorce rate is due to women dancers. Does that mean they are high strung and/or high maintenance?

  24. Steve,
    I’m not Neo, but would like to osund a note to your question.
    Why do you automatically think it’s the women’ fault? Maybe it’s the husbands of dancers that can’t provide for their needs – it’s a very stressful profession, not only extgremely demanding physically, but emotionally, too. The apparent ease and levity thta dancer mustpresent on the stage camouflage incredible pain and tension, and if you are a successful dancer – factor in very demanding touring schedule – when you are in this mode for years at end, you do need calm, quiet and understanding person at home, able to support you materially and emotionally.

    Beauty has to be paid for. Glory has to be paid for. If you wanted to link your life with this beautiful, ethereal waif of a dancer, this elegant and delicate creature, you better know there is a cost associated with it.
    When I hear the phrase (usually from men) : “she is high maintenance” I think this guy is a self-centered loser, assuming he is the one who deserves to be looked after and “maintained”, not his wife. Surprisingly, these are often men who think themselves to be “consetrvative”.

  25. Steve: I never said the majority of male ballet dancers are gay. It might be the case, but I have no idea what the actual percentage is. I know, however, that is is much higher than in the general population.

    However, I also have no idea what the divorce rate is among female dancers. It may or may not be high. I think, as I wrote, that the high divorce rate among dancers in general may be because the category includes exotic/erotic dancers.

    As far as high maintenance goes, anyone who is dedicated to his or her work in a way that takes a lot of time, effort, and energy—and ballet dancers most definitely fit that description; it is hard for them to have a “normal” liife or social life with a normal amount of leisure time—is, I suppose, high maintenance, in a way. But that’s hardly their fault, and the person who marries a female ballet dancer ought to be well aware of what he is getting into. Unfortunately, as I think Tatyana may be suggesting, people sometimes want the glamor in their lives without the costs.

  26. Forgot to mention another factor: severe competition.
    Out of necessity, duration of profesisonal career for a balet dancer is a short one, especially if she is not inclined by nature to transition into teaching when her performing years come to the end.
    So competition becomes fierce, deadlines for achieving steps on the ladder accelerate, constant pressure gets on one’s nerves tremendously – and that on top of 8-hr a day high-strain physical labor plus performances.

    Come to think of it – same applies to classical musicians, especially if they are the performing kind and have no pedagogical abilities.

  27. I once worked for a multimillionaire in his investment business. He could be called “high maintenance.” He fired his personal assistant/secretary because after two years she found it difficult to hide her irritation at such requests as purchasing birthday gifts for wife or children. I once got involved in making a hotel reservation in a Spanish-speaking country because I spoke Spanish. I was amazed at all that he wanted for It went on and on. Such as a helicopter from the airport to the hotel. The reservation didn’t go through due to a change in plans, but I got a glimpse of what it was like to live with a high maintenance person.

    As a boss, he was good to work for. While I knew more about the subject I was discussing than he did- after all it was my project- he had a talent for honing in on the essential parts. Just one thing: don’t waste his time.

  28. I suspect that it might be due to constantly working closely with many people of the opposite sex, often involving very strong emotional connections and intimacy with one’s dance partner. This could lead to a romantic relationship, which would be problematic if one already had a spouse. Even if it doesn’t, it might arouse suspicion and jealousy from one’s spouse, even if the relationship with the dance partner is strictly professional.

    Basically, people fall in love with their dance partners, or their spouses get jealous and think they did.

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