February 27th, 2011

Those exciting, not-to-be-missed, Oscars

Yes, the title is sarcastic. You can miss em if you want tonight, and you probably won’t be missing a thing except a few hours of boredom watching a bunch of self-satisfied, beautiful, but anorexic people congratulate themselves on their super-duper wonderfulness.

I, on the other hand, will turn it on, as usual—although as usual I’ll be doing other things as I “watch.” What draws me is the fashions. I’m just that shallow.

This year I’ll be heavily rooting against any Oscars for “Black Swan.” I probably will be thwarted in that wish, however, since the pregnant Portman is almost a pointe shoe-in for Best Actress.

30 Responses to “Those exciting, not-to-be-missed, Oscars”

  1. mizpants Says:

    If there were any justice, Lesley Manville would win Best Actress for her spectacular performance in Another Year. Have you seen it, Neo?
    I too loathed Black Swan. I saw Another Year soon after I sat through that pretentious mess, and it was like being administered an antidote.

  2. FenelonSpoke Says:

    I did not see “Black Swan”. I didn’t want to see it to begin with, and then after your review I didn’t want to see it even more. I do not think Natalie Portman is a good actress and I can’t imagine she’d be any better as a poor actress pretending she’s going crazy.

  3. Jack Says:

    Meyer and Madison?

  4. Susanamantha Says:

    I always am doing “other things” as I watch TV, catching up on magazines, leafing through cookbooks, knitting. But I never watch award ceremonies. Ever.

    Besides, I only saw one nominated movie this year, “Winter’s Bones”. Powerful, depressing and uplifting at the same time.

  5. Occam's Beard Says:

    Let me know if I win something.

    Otherwise, I don’t care!

  6. A Reader in K.C. Says:

    I think the last time I watched the Oscars was around 1982.

  7. Roman Says:

    Watch Oscar. Oscar who?

  8. OldTexan Says:

    Oscars = Hollywood Insider Trading. Just pumping the stuff up to see if we will buy a bit more.

    I will read the snippets over the next several days and read a book tonight. I do like to see the funny clothes on the skinny women and the scraggly faces and ill fitting stuff on the men but after action photos are good enough for me.

  9. Gringo Says:

    I don’t know if I ever watched the Oscars. IIRC, I haven’t been to a movie theater since 2002, though I do occasionally take movie DVDs out of the library- most currently Woman in Berlin.

    Coincidentally, I have had two bosses named Oscar. They were both pretty good to work for, and competent managers, as shown by their promotions after I left their employ. Each of those Oscars would merit an Oscar for management.

  10. Occam's Beard Says:

    Semi-OT: do you suppose it ever crosses the minds (pardon the exaggeration) of Hollywoodites who opposed the War on Terror that the Oscars must be high on al-Qaeda’s list of targets?

    Let’s see, a venue full of high-profile Jews, homosexuals, and the utterly irredeemably dissolute and venal, all of whom are engaged in spreading profane Western culture to the ummah, among other places.

    Let’s run it down by the numbers. What does al-Qaeda hate about America?

    Her military power, as symbolized by the Pentagon? 9/11 – Check.

    Her financial and economic power, as symbolized by the WTC? 9/11 – Check.

    Her political power, as symbolized by the White House? 9/11 – Check.

    Her cultural power, as symbolized by Hollywood? Uh…no check. Not yet, anyway.

    Do you suppose they’ve ever thought about this?

  11. neo-neocon Says:

    One-shoulder dresses seem to be the thing.

    I like one-shoulder dresses.

  12. LAG Says:

    Maybe this is why I don’t care. They’re too infantile for me to begin with and apparently trending to more child-like, feminine appearance all the time. Not really an attractive combo.

    http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/gnxp/2011/02/the-changing-face-of-fame/

  13. Susan in Seattle Says:

    Thank you for watching so I don’t have to!
    Will look forward to your fashion report.

  14. jon baker Says:

    Occam’s Beard,
    I have heard Rush say something to the effect that some of the type you mentioned would be the “first against the wall” if the Jihadist took over-and yet they dont seem to get it-lol. Although I do not think there is such a type as “utterly irredeemably. ” We are all sinners and all can potentialy be redeemed.

  15. Parker Says:

    “Do suppose they’ve ever thought about this?”

    Nope. They’re special so reality can’t touch them.

    “Thank you for watching so I don’t have to!”

    ditto.

  16. Parker Says:

    “I like one-shoulder dresses.”

    It depends upon the shoulder, left or right? ;-)

  17. Occam's Beard Says:

    Jon, I’m not talking about the jihadis taking over at some unspecified time in the future.

    I’m talking about, e.g., one crashing a private plane into the Oscars ceremony tonight. Or shooting them up. Or dropping a vial of sarin at them. Or driving a truck full of explosives through the barriers. Or …

    Think of the splash al-Qaeda would make. Not some poor anonymous working slobs in the WTC, but Hollywood stars. And all while a lot of Americans would be watching in real time on TV. The propaganda value in the Middle East would be staggering.

  18. Occam's Beard Says:

    And all while a lot of Americans would be watching in real time on TV.

    And those watching it would tell straight men about it, so even they would know about it pretty soon too.

  19. Parker Says:

    “Or dropping a vial of sarin…..”

    I’ve been waiting for something like this to happen at a shopping mall or high school prom or __________ anywhere in the USA. IMO it will happen, its just a matter of time.

  20. Occam's Beard Says:

    But think of the splash when the victims are Brad and Angelina and whoever else is in the news today (sorry, I’ve exhausted my knowledge of pop culture). The next morning natives in Borneo would know about it, and Africans would be talking about it with clicks and whistles. Every supermarket tabloid would have 98 point font headlines about it for weeks (months?) afterwards.

    Then there would be an interminable series of memorials, armbands, mawkish ceremonies, movies, TV shows, retrospectives of the poxy movies of the fallen, interviews with everyone who could purport to have known them, the lot. The whole thing would reverberate for years.

  21. Parker Says:

    Occam,

    You have stated precisely why the jihadists will not attack Hollywood. They know their allies from their enemies. A much better splash is the deaths of hundreds or thousands of middle Americans at the mall. Everyday people are the richest targets, not the Hollywood elites.

    Remember Michael Moore lamenting that the 9/11/01 terrorists targeted “people who voted for Bush”? Liberals have no problems with blood being shed as long is its not their blood. If the jihadists attack a T-party rally liberals will be opening up their wallets/purses to donate to the Muslim Brotherhood.

  22. Occam's Beard Says:

    Parker, the question is which is more valuable to al-Qaeda, publicity or donations. I’m guessing it’s publicity. Furthermore, the appearance of having power is a recipe for garnering future donations (from, e.g, the Saudis who are so inclined).

  23. Parker Says:

    Occam,

    I think the publicity you’re talking about is negative (for jihadi loons). Kill the denizens of Hollywood and you piss off all the millions of celebrity worshipers who pick up a copy of People at the check out line. Kill average Americans at the mall and you have successfully terrorized hundreds of millions who are entertaining the idea of what can be done to appease you so they can go back to shopping without fear.

  24. Occam's Beard Says:

    Do the jihadis care about pissing us off? It doesn’t look that way. Besides, even if we’re pissed off, so what? Gotta find ‘em first.

    Also, turn the logic around: if jihadis can get celebrities, they can get schmucks too. The converse proposition doesn’t necessarily follow.

    The question is what motivates jihadis. If they truly think that they’re doing Allah’s work, making enemies won’t put them off. Quite the contrary. (Much like we would feel if something we did pissed off child molesters; all to the good, right?) That’s pretty much the way I see them, but of course, I could be wrong.

  25. Parker Says:

    I may be wrong, but I think the jihadis understand us (the enemy) better than most of us understand them. Case 1: Kill the celebrities (or an Obama or a Pelosi, etc.) and the zombie left will get angry. Case 2: Kill everyday Americans (or a Bush or Cheney or Palin) and the left will be dancing in the streets and writing checks to CAIR.

  26. Beverly Says:

    When they aired the fawning cameo of Prez Obummer, I turned it off in disgust. I also noticed that some of the winners (er, “goes to,” never “winner is”: how invidious) tried awkwardly to “shout out” to the union thugs in Wisconsin by thanking their “union” crews. Like, you know, the Teamsters — wonderful guys, hardworking, sitting in their trucks all day with the engines running (not very green, that) and stuffing their faces.

    But surprisingly not too many, given that SAG and the other Hollywood unions sent out General Quarters alerts to their minions to get their butts to Wisc. and demonstrate alongside the “public servants.”

    I was SO glad The King’s Speech won. There was a late push by the cadre of the utterly loathsome Aaron Sorkin to get The Social Network over the finish line, but they didn’t make it. For once, their business instincts trumped their eternal, noisome Leftish nihilism.

    I was glad David Seidler won for best screenplay for the King’s Speech as well: an older man who’d written for a lot of junky movies over the years, he got cancer, survived it, and decided to write one he could put his heart into. Good on him!

  27. Beverly Says:

    I say their business instincts trumped, because I don’t for one minute think that the Hollywoodites give a rat’s hairy posterior for the values of Anglo-Saxon culture, the monarchy, loyalty to country, or Old Blighty.

  28. Beverly Says:

    I agree that the jihad boyz will never bomb their allies, the Quisling Hollywoodites. They’re laughing up their sleeves in contempt at them, sure, but they’re also making sure to flash “peace signs” in their demos in the ME.

    Anyone else remember when it meant V for Victory? Good old Churchill!

  29. Barry Says:

    People, relax. Aside from the one guy and his “union” statement (I was afraid the whole night was going to be about the unions-it wasn’t) the show was fun.

    How can you not like people being acknowledged for their hard work and excellence? Granted, when Al Gore and Michael Moore wins it is no fun but what’s wrong with Colin Firth taking home the prize?

    King’s Speech was an excellent movie. Social Network was great, too (I also was bummed when Sorkin won based on his politics. Thankfully he kept politics out of his speech). The Fighter was a compelling story, Toy Story 3 was the best of the trilogy and True Grit was decent.

    Sure, Hollywood can be a pain in the trasero with their childish world views but some of you should really relax and enjoy what was a fun event. No one like the opening scene with Baldwin and the Inception parody? Watch a little film, people. It’s a nice diversion, no?

  30. kolnai Says:

    Barry -

    “Fun” might be pushing it a titch. “Almost inoffensive and occasionally not-completely-dull background noise” – I could agree with that.

    What gets me about the Oscars is not the political stuff, but the Petronius- worthy spectacle of these unfathomably decadent, pompous doofuses pretending to have enough class even to pretend to have class – the proverbial debonaire syphilitics.

    And their evident smugness and self-importance is too much to bear. The don’t smile, they grin sh*t-eatingly.

    I hear what you’re saying, but Hollywood really has a long way to climb to get back up to doing anything merely relaxing and enjoyable. I found it insufferable and annoying – above all, boring.

    “It’s a nice diversion, no?”

    No.

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Previously a lifelong Democrat, born in New York and living in New England, surrounded by liberals on all sides, I've found myself slowly but surely leaving the fold and becoming that dread thing: a neocon.
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