Those of you who are not interested in the topic, please avert your gaze.
Here’s a slideshow of Oscar fashions, for those inclined to gaze. My summary: lots of feathers (a la “Black Swan?”), some of them very unfortunate.
Lots of sparkles, lots of missing necklaces with strapless gowns. Lots of false eyelashes. Lots of changes of costume for the lovely Anne Hathaway, who tried valiantly to be enthusiastic but was dragged down repeatedly by co-host James Franco, whom I’ve never heard of before (I’m just that un-with it).
All in all, it went exactly as I thought it would. “The King’s Speech” is just the sort of vaguely cultural vaguely foreign vaguely highbrow entertainment the Oscars love to reward. Natalie Portman was a foregone conclusion for Best Actress. The only surprise was Melissa Leo’s unclassy but heartfelt f-bomb, and that television is still prissy enough to consider it worth bleeping rather than celebrating.
This predictability is part of the fun, sort of like stopping at a McDonald’s once in a while. And a lot less fattening.