Here’s how to retard the growth of wrinkles, for all of you folks of a certain age, or those of you who plan someday to be of a certain age and want to prepare yourselves.
Strangely enough, I already do most of those things (except cocoa—can’t eat anything chocolate because of the migraines) including the “sleep on your back” one, although it never occurred to me it would have any effect on wrinkles at all. It does, however, forestall those temporary creases one sometimes gets from contact with a crumpled pillowcase—although that’s not the reason I do it.
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Previously a lifelong Democrat, born in New York and living in New England, surrounded by liberals on all sides, I've found myself slowly but surely 
December 15th, 2011 at 3:08 pm
I just contacted 2 doctors for botox info. At a certain point, the wrinkles just come.
December 15th, 2011 at 3:10 pm
I sleep on my back out of necessity. I fell a couple of years ago, and my back has never been the same. I just can’t sleep on my sides. I also have to sleep in a semi upright position, due to the pain. So while my face isn’t squinched permanently, I’m sure it’s all sags and bags under my eyes.
December 15th, 2011 at 4:07 pm
They left out the easiest one; fat. If you have more fat, you have fewer wrinkles. It’s one of the few benefits of the stuff!
December 15th, 2011 at 11:08 pm
Neo-Neocon: Wow! Another person afflicted with chocolate headaches. Who knew? If you want to really suffer, perhaps as some sort of penance or something, eat chocolate while drinking red wine. Will completely flatten you out!
December 15th, 2011 at 11:48 pm
All this good advice is too late for me. Of course, I don’t call them wrinkles. They’re “character lines.” Based on that, I must have a lot of character.
December 19th, 2011 at 9:57 pm
Sleeping on your back ain’t good if you’re prone to apnea.