For many more years than most people have been alive, they tried hard to make it work. And at least as far as all outside observers could tell, they succeeded.

No arguments, although neither was exactly the talkative sort. Companionate and tranquil would be two good words to describe this marriage. They didn’t move in the fast lane, but in the great race of life they got the job done.

But now, now—well let’s just say that this is not a a story that will warm the cockles of your heart. Although no one’s certain why the falling out occurred—and the two main protagonists aren’t telling—it’s bad, and it’s public:

“We get the feeling they can’t stand the sight of each other any more,” Zoo boss Helga Happ said.

Bibi and Poldi have happily rubbed along at the Austrian zoo in Klagenfurt for 36 years, having moved together from Basel zoo in Switzerland.

Both 115 years old, the pair grew up together – and eventually became an item.

However, you men may not be surprised to hear that the first overt act of aggression was initiated by the female tortoise—although who knows what terrible and secret provocation on the part of Poldi may have caused her to initiate such a desperate act?:

Staff at the zoo realised all was not well when Bibi attacked Poldi, biting off a chunk of his shell. She launched further attacks on her partner until he was moved to a different location.

Of course, at the ripe old age of 115, it could be senility.

Read it and weep.