Okay, I’m trying for a little levity and light entertainment. I’m not really in the mood, though. But a friend sent me a link to the fashions at this year’s American Music Awards, and these two leapt out at me.
First we have an odd choice from Jordin Sparks:
It’s one of those dresses that seems only mildly ugly at first glance, but becomes uglier and even more bizarre after some study. The transparent black undergarment. The dress’s shape. But most of all the design and the color. There’s something vaguely reminiscent of a Halloween costume of a skeleton, with a hint of rococo overlay.
Next we have someone I’ve never heard of, Ke$ha (and no, that’s not a typo; there’s money in the middle, you see):
The eyes, the nails, the shoes, way too dark for the rest, but I suppose that’s the point. It’s awfully hard to stand out as different these days, isn’t it?
And if fashion-bashing doesn’t do it for you, let’s have a puppy! This is what I’m like when I wake up in the morning—except not quite as nippy, not quite as vocal, and nowhere near as cute:
Previously a lifelong Democrat, born in New York and living in New England, surrounded by liberals on all sides, I've found myself slowly but surely 
November 20th, 2012 at 2:21 pm
“I’m trying for a little levity and light entertainment. I’m not really in the mood, though.”
WHACK! POW! BLAM!!!
Well, get over it!!!
November 20th, 2012 at 2:22 pm
You know, what you need is a new dress and some really nice new shoes. You have 48 hours. When the going gets tough, the tough got shopping.
November 20th, 2012 at 2:23 pm
@neoneocon “It’s one of those dresses that seems only mildly ugly at first glance, but becomes uglier and even more bizarre after some study.”
I quite disagree with you. Even at first glance it is utterly hideous.
…it does get bizarre if you take a few seconds to “study” it though.
Good gawd. What is wrong with people that they could consider purchasing that travesty. Let alone wear it. In public!
November 20th, 2012 at 2:27 pm
…and with those knees, Keisha (Kei$ha?), would have been better off with the full length dress Jordin was wearing.
…the accoutrements would have suited better, too.
…still all pissy. Obviously.
Forgive me for taking it out on the fashion (/sarc) divas.
November 20th, 2012 at 3:12 pm
It was never rich people per se that made me once flirt with Marxism back in college, but specifically THESE rich people.
I was probably the only (near) Marxist on campus motivated not by hatred and resentment of bankers and businessmen, but of celebrities. I’m mature enough now to not be tempted by Marxism. I’m not mature enough to stop loathing these people.
November 20th, 2012 at 3:17 pm
I vote for the puppy.
November 20th, 2012 at 3:30 pm
Snake; scorpion; vaguely Egyptian, maybe?
Ms. K, you and that dress are telling each other to go to Hell.
November 20th, 2012 at 3:34 pm
Clearly I have no fashion sense – none whatsoever. For I wouldn’t have picked up on any of what you said.
But, now that you have pointed it out; yep, I see what you are saying.
Except for the part about the cute puppy – it is hard to compare you and the puppy to see who’s cuter when waking up – you’ll need to repost that video with an apple in front of the puppy so we can make a fair comparison.
November 20th, 2012 at 3:57 pm
Clearly, these two women don’t rate stylists. The first may know some aspiring home-making designer. Seems said would be designer used to be a quilter. Now into patchworking clothing. Draping not too bad (i.e. silhouette well-fitted). but fabric. Yuck! ugly! Patched design contrivance: Yuck! ugly!
White outfit looks just like the culottes that were in fashion once upon a time with a semi-wrap to hide culotte (shorts part). These were not culottes, tho’ Just reminded me. What it is, is a beach ensemble. With big, huge platform, black suede (for winter) shoes…with beach ensemble. Forget the intense eye make-up. They all do that. And the dark nails? I thought that would be a fad….but its lasted for years now. Suppose its supposed to indicate fashion forward independence and being different. Except everybody’s been doing it for years. (Sort of like the whole tatoo thing. I still don’t get how that’s supposd to be cool and chic. So many absolutely gorgeious stunning men and women: actresses, actors, models, athletes, too, now — inking their bodies — with stupid designs or writing or supposed-to-be mysterious symbols. Didn’t that used to be the realm of saliors? Drunk on leave sailors,,,,
The dark nail polish thing: tried it once, I’m very fair and the dark — looked like ugly. I didn’t even use blackor dark indigo (the “in” shades”) I used a deep maroon. Lookd like black next to my skin. It was ugly! My habds looked like Lily Munster’s. Polish remover came out before I even walked out of the bathroom!
As for Puppy: I wrote such a cute post. But it disappeared! But I knew just how it felt. And my own puppy seemed to understand every whine, squeak and howl. (Puppy obviously hasn’t learned to bark yet. That will come soon! Too soon. I guess it’s like babies’ “terrible twos” and the screeching to “discover their voice.” Because Puppy will bark. And bark. And bark and bark some more.
Beware what you wish for then when you want to wake Puppy up!
November 20th, 2012 at 4:00 pm
The puppy is much better looking and probably friendlier as well.
November 20th, 2012 at 4:36 pm
the vagina has eyes and a mouth … see the 1st dress
November 20th, 2012 at 4:59 pm
@csimon “The first may know some aspiring home-making designer. Seems said would be designer used to be a quilter. Now into patchworking clothing.”
I thought it would make an interesting quilt too LOL.
November 20th, 2012 at 5:05 pm
Just to clarify my earlier comment, I was comparing the puppy to the two fashion models, not to Neo! I’m sure Neo is just as friendly as the puppy!
November 20th, 2012 at 6:15 pm
}}} Next we have someone I’ve never heard of, Ke$ha
I’m with davisbr. This woman doesn’t grasp how to flatter herself at all. The knees look far too bony to be waving them around, and she looks like she needs to give those shoulders back to the pro fullback she stole them off of. And that bleached-dirty-platinum look doesn’t work, either. She does have a nice face, but that’s about the only good thing I see about her in that picture.
November 20th, 2012 at 6:17 pm
P.S., the good thing for both of them is that no one saw them at the AMA this year. Apparently, even the artists who were nominated weren’t attending… LOL.
November 20th, 2012 at 7:00 pm
The 2 women are weird in every way. I agree with rickl, the puppy wins in a landslide.
November 20th, 2012 at 10:25 pm
An Alien Facehugger is what the pattern on first dress reminded me of. It missed though, came in a bit low, the movie didn’t explore that possibility.
November 20th, 2012 at 11:47 pm
I’d like the black nail polish trend to stop now, okay? It screams Elivra, Mistress of the Dark. Everyone from Ke$ha to suburban housewives is wearing black nail polish these days, and it is the ugliest fashion fad since leg warmers.
The puppy was a much needed visual palate cleanser.
November 21st, 2012 at 12:35 am
Count your blessings that you’ve never heard (or presumably heard) Ke$ha. I’d include a link to her most famous (or infamous) video here, but that would be a horrible thing to do.
November 21st, 2012 at 5:20 am
Has no one taught these people (Kesha–can’t bring myslef to use the “$” n there) how to stand when posing for a camera? It’s like third position, only with MILD turn out. It makes a huge difference on how one’s legs and ankles look in the shot. And NEVER completely straighten your legs–you get that odd, unnatractive knee thing going on.
November 21st, 2012 at 8:54 am
}}} It missed though, came in a bit low, the movie didn’t explore that possibility.
Aliens IV did, kinda… though a bit different. One of Joss Whedon’s few indisputable misses.
November 21st, 2012 at 8:55 am
}}} it is the ugliest fashion fad since leg warmers
6″ platforms still have them both beat out hands down.
November 21st, 2012 at 8:56 am
}}} Has no one taught these people
I’m sure people have. My money is on “too dumb to pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were printed on the heel”.
November 21st, 2012 at 9:02 am
Take another look at that picture of Ke$ha and then come back and tell me she’s not a dude. ‘Cause that’s definitely a dude right there.
November 21st, 2012 at 10:13 am
Gaah. I had not heard of “Ke$ha” before and out of curiosity Googled the phrase “Who is Ke$ha.” Here are some of the lines that showed up on the first few search results pages (no, I didn’t click through on any of them, thank you very much! This was quite enough info for me.)
“Ke$ha tells us all kinds of awesome, crazy stuff: ‘Have I made out with chicks?”
“Ke$ha Made Bra From Her Fans’ Teeth”
“Ke$ha has described her look as both “a cross between Keith Richards and a hobo” and “a homeless clown”
“Ke$ha Talks About her Human Teeth Collection”
“Ke$ha’s style has largely been characterized by mohawks, gold teeth, glitter and even a partially shaved head bedazzled with studs.”
“Yes, It’s really Ke$ha! Take off the face paint, blow out the hangover hair, and what are you left with? A ballsy, beautiful pop star who proves: It’s not just the glitter”
“Ke$ha is the latest immensely popular musician, who accomplished this despite having no talent.”
and finally
“Ke$ha wasn’t always Ke$ha. A long time ago before all her fame and stardom she was just a precocious kid named Kesha if you can believe it.”
Oddly enough, I can.
November 21st, 2012 at 11:43 am
Totally agree about the ugliness of the Jordan Sparks dress and the Kesha outfit. But even *I* have heard of Kesha, and I’m pretty clueless when it comes to pop culture.
November 21st, 2012 at 11:57 am
(The last comment should have been accompanied with a smiley face: not meant to be a criticism! Just a joke. Actually I happened to stumble on a top 100 countdown of music videos on Much Music the other day and it was amazing how few of the songs I had ever heard.)
November 21st, 2012 at 1:46 pm
Those cute videos of puppies are dangerous to watch. I should know – I have 3 dogs, ages, 1, 5 and 9.
Thanks, Neo, for making me pine for another wee one.
November 21st, 2012 at 3:09 pm
Elvira, Mistress of the Dark–she had fashion sense. In Spades. Or with spades.