No, it’s not college.
Boob school is where women learn what size bra actually fits them, and are introduced to the perils of the side boob, the quadraboob, the high rider, the super drooper, the big stand-off, and the ledge.
You may think this is funny. But we are not amused (okay, maybe just a little). Ill-fitting bras are the scourge of many women’s existence, and there is a pressing (ahem!) need for education.
I have noticed another phenomenon that the article doesn’t touch on, but that increases the confusion: the enormous profusion of bra styles and types. I can remember a time not so long ago when the lingerie sections of department stores were relatively simple affairs, with choices adequate but not overwhelming. There were the strapless, the halter, and the regular; the wired and the wireless; the low-cut; and the padded and the un. Cotton, satin, and lace, and a relatively small number of manufacturers.
Now the styles have proliferated exponentially, and each has a very special task to do. Eliminate back fat. Minimize. Maximize. Do away with the side boob. Look good under clingy tank tops. Have comfortable straps. And on and on and on. And the efficacy of none of these things can be ascertained by merely looking at the bra on the hanger; all must be tried on.
Now, I’ve been wearing makeup ever since I was a fairly young teenager, and that’s some time ago. In other words, I ought to know something about it. But venturing into one of these stores recently I realize I’ve been left behind in a cloud of dusty face powder (which I’ve never worn). I have no idea what most of the products there do, except that many of them purport to eliminate wrinkles, slow aging, and otherwise keep a woman looking like a dewy twenty-year-old.
Well, they may do that for the dewy twenty-year-olds among us—a group that constitutes the vast majority of the clientele in these places, anyway. But there ain’t nothing going to do that for the rest of us, no matter what the price, and no matter how many dizzying variations are worked on the theme.