September 3rd, 2013

The TSA is on the ball

The other day I traveled by airplane, and I was pulled out of line for special consideration.

Actually, there wasn’t all that much of a line; it was Saturday night, and the airport was relatively quiet. But I was pulled out of whatever line did exist by a nice young uniformed man who asked me to hold out my hands to be swabbed. He ran a sort of Q=tip moistened with something or other over them and then ran that in front of a machine that read out a bunch of figures. And then he waved me on my way, after explaining (when I asked him) that he’d checked me for explosive residue.

Good thing I hadn’t fired any cap guns recently.

I can only hope they’re profiling, too, on the QT.

13 Responses to “The TSA is on the ball”

  1. Baklava Says:

    Were you carrying the apple in front of you? ;)

  2. Mr. Frank Says:

    Are cap guns still available?

  3. southpaw Says:

    Dear nitro-Neo,
    Good thing you didn’t have the wrong cosmetic residue either. There are some cosmetics that will trigger a positive on that test, and I’ve missed 2 planes in the last 10 years waiting for the questioning to run its course. Once it was found on my camera case, another time on my boots and my then 3 year old son’s. shoes. He was a guilty looking little twerp if there ever was one… I’m not a woman as you’ve no doubt guessed, so can only assume my wife was handling these items and got something on them.
    The people at Dulles were the worst. I had to beg them to try running the swab through the machine in the other line, just to make sure the instrument wasnt out of calibration. 30 minutes later, they agreed, but it required the colonel of security, ( whatever the ranking office is at the airport) to try it. Negative result on all items. They repeated it 3 times, same result.
    Meanwhile, the usual menagerie of burkas, flowing robes, and turbans sailed thru the lines without having a sample or bag opened. My son kept asking why the people wanted to play with his shoes.
    At that point, after watching about 200 people who were as guilty looking as me go thru untested, I asked if they thought that two completely different results from the same samples might suggest a problem with the test or equipment. To make a long story short, they don’t like it when you ask questions. That’s their job, and i learned this because they said ” we ask the questions”
    And so our Disney World Family Advenure ended with a very long day with two little boys, waiting to catch a red eye out.
    I have never found out which types of cosmetics will cause a positive reading, and they didn’t tell me either- because only they the ask questions.
    Good to hear you escaped unscathed- but I may suggest wearing some traditional Middle East garb if you want insure you are never tested again.

  4. Charles Says:

    ” . . Q=tip moistened with something or other . . “

    Right there, that’s a problem for me. I have allergies and would want to know what it was moistened with or in the very least be directed to a place, quickly (as in right now), where I could wash up.

    And for those who think I am being too fussy, well, asthma and/or anaphylactic shock are laughing matters only in the movies or on TV sitcoms. Not laughing matters in real life.

    And just how much “security” did this little exercise give us?

  5. George Pal Says:

    And just how much “security” did this little exercise give us?

    We are secure in the knowledge the government thinks us an enemy, worthy of skepticism and humiliation.

  6. neo-neocon Says:

    Charles:

    I know what you mean. I’m allergic to a few things, especially perfumes, and get a skin rash from them. It occurred to me that the Q-tip might cause a reaction, but fortunately in my case it would only be a rash, so I just ignored it. I was fine; no reaction.

  7. LAG Says:

    They do profile. That’s how they picked you out. Probably read the blog, too. Clearly a shady character hiding abaft that apple.

    My wife had a lot of fun with one of those checks a while back. I was working on board Navy ship and occasionally dealt with weapons and ammo. I kept a small suitcase in my stateroom to carry clothes home and back. She borrowed the bag for a trip, and told me later she set off all the bells, alarms, and whistles at the airport checkpoint with it. She told me all this, later, with a vaguely homicidal gleam in her eye. Like it was my fault.

  8. blert Says:

    Beware of poppy-seed bagels…

    You’ll never get off the bad-girl list, once swabbed.

  9. NeoConScum Says:

    …and the Islamist butcher in front of her passed through with nothing so much as a ‘by your leave’.

  10. KLSmith Says:

    TSA= theater of the absurd.

  11. Gary Says:

    I can only hope they’re profiling, too, on the QT.

    Keep hoping. If there’s any QT profiling going on, it’s probably in reverse. Like checking lots of 16 – 19 year old midwestern farm girls while letting the Tsarnaev brothers slide right through–so no one can accuse them of subjecting the latter to extra scrutiny. Besides, who do you think they’d rather pat down?

  12. Ymarsakar Says:

    TSA and the unions haven’t stopped a single terrorist. In fact, I do think a lot of their dues are going into Leftist and terrorist pockets as we speak. When they get enough, expect a security bypass to be added from the inside for their special VIPs.

  13. Will Says:

    Ah, the war on the 2nd Amendment continues unabated. Profiling and harassment of folks who shoot or may have shot (the numbers continually rise) recently. If we can’t get at you via the IRS we’ll do it another way…

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