February 10th, 2014

If you don’t like piña colada

Sana Klaric and husband Adnan poured their hearts out to each other over their marriage troubles.

Using the names ‘Sweetie’ and ‘Prince of Joy’ in a online chatroom, the pair thought they had found a soulmate with whom to spend the rest of their lives.

It should have turned out like a real-life version of the 1979 Rupert Holmes song, Escape, where a couple meet through advert by someone ‘who likes pina coladas and getting caught in the rain’.

But, unlike in the song, there was no happy ending after they turned up for a date and realised their mistake. Now the pair, from Zenica, Central Bosnia, are divorcing after accusing each other of being unfaithful.

Sana, 27, said: “I was suddenly in love. It was amazing, we seemed to be stuck in the same kind of miserable marriages. How right that turned out to be.”

But when it dawned on her what had happened, she said: “I felt so betrayed.”

Adnan, 32, said: ‘I still find it hard to believe that Sweetie, who wrote such wonderful things, is actually the same woman I married and who has not said a nice word to me for years.”

And so, Sana and Adnan did not go walking off into the sunset like the pair in the piña colada song (watch out, watch out, watch out for earworms if you so much as think of that song). Life doesn’t imitate art, at least not in Sana and Adnan’s case. But I wonder why they didn’t see that they were made for each other? They have so many things in common! Even their names have similar letters.

And one of the things they have in common, unfortunately, is a shared lack of imagination. If I had been their couples therapist, I’d have encouraged them to try dating under their new names—and new personae—and to keep talking about how awful their ex-spouses are, and how glad they are to have found each other instead.

You gotta be creative.

And here’s a question for extra credit: if you cheat on your spouse by romancing your own spouse, is that really cheating? Or are you caught in a Borges story?

18 Responses to “If you don’t like piña colada”

  1. mizpants Says:

    Too late, too late! The worm got in, and now I’ll be cursing you all afternoon, Neo.

  2. Charles Says:

    It is kind of fitting that they re-found each other and each other turned out to be such heels; so, they really are “solemates.”

  3. Ymarsakar Says:

    But I wonder why they didn’t see that they were made for each other? They have so many things in common!

    I think they could not forgive the transgressions of the past. I would certainly find it difficult to trust, when you know the woman you met has different modes of behavior. Which one is the true one? If just acting like a new date will get her to say nice things, then what happens when you do something she doesn’t like and she returns back to the old harpy woman? Humans can either overcome their weaknesses by achieving inner strength and enlightenment, or borrowing the power of a higher authority like divine power. Guess which one happened in this story. http://www.bookwormroom.com/2014/02/04/the-gift-of-forgiveness/

    As for the song, both Bookworm and I remembered that one from years ago.

  4. Ymarsakar Says:

    And here’s a question for extra credit: if you cheat on your spouse by romancing your own spouse, is that really cheating?

    That’s a sort of ethical dilemma question, such as if Obama intends to do evil and ends up saving the country, was Obama the messiah of salvation or the devil of corruption?

    Is evil intent? Is evil results? It’s confusing. People who make decisions based upon emotions, like a couple, generally won’t be able to puzzle it out. It’s not like they were given 20 years of theology and philosophy training, plus battlefield experience, to come up with a solution.

  5. Sangiovese Says:

    And here’s a question for extra credit: if you cheat on your spouse by romancing your own spouse, is that really cheating?

    Yes, because there was intent to cheat and actions were taken to actually cheat.

  6. neo-neocon Says:

    Ymarsakar:

    Except in this case they were both guilty of exactly the same 2-faced behavior.

  7. AMartel Says:

    These two miserable morons are determined to see the worst in each other and probably in the rest of the world as well. When presented with a glass half empty they see an empty vessel and it is a projection of their characters. It’s unfortunate that they can’t stay together and, instead, will go forth into the world and spread their misery to other people.

  8. Geoffrey Britain Says:

    Sadly, one aspect of human nature is denial. Each is convinced that it is the other person’s fault because projected blame is so much easier than self-examination.

    Like cows in a pasture divided by barbed wire, they stretch their necks through the openings to graze in the other cow’s field, convinced that the grass is greener and sweeter in the other fellow’s pasture.

  9. MissJean Says:

    Glad I’m listening to classical music; no room for worms in my ears. :)

    I don’t know that it’s a Borges story, but I can certainly see a Gabriel Garcia Marquez story here: For both of them, there was tremendous satisfaction in being able to have a love they each denied the other AND the possibility of dumping the other. The dream of walking out on their unsuspecting “awful” spouse was shattered.

    I thought it very telling that the husband said she had not spoken one kind word to him in years. They were at war, no?

    Also, the woman’s name means “healthy” in Spanish, which I found ironic.

  10. waitforit Says:

    In the second the first must evidence faith.
    For integrity and command, a ship sail
    When the crew, in suffered solitaire saith
    Joy is ours whether the wind flow or fail.
    I’ll have your betrayal replied the devil.
    For my winds you’ll trade your happiness.
    Across the waves the keel will level sail
    I promise power without repentance.
    Then the winds and waves of time did blow and toss
    Testing the promises against the cost.
    And while the Present swept by fast and free
    It paled and wept before eternity.

  11. Ymarsakar Says:

    Except in this case they were both guilty of exactly the same 2-faced behavior.

    I would think that makes it harder, not easier, to reconcile.

  12. blert Says:

    Their love tweets surely were infested with chit-chat about what a total loser their current spouse proved to be.

  13. parker Says:

    Geeeeez, I can not grok. Married, both of us faithful, for 4+ decades. What is wrong with these people??? Once you make the commitment you are bound by oath to be true to one another. I guess I am many centuries behind the times.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XD14kdgQEe8

    We got to get out of here, we got to find a solution.

  14. Doom Says:

    Idiots. Can’t see what they could have and could be, and really are and actually have, even when they read it with their own eyes. These people will never be happy. And… that makes me happy. If I had been foolish enough to chase a dream, and then found that I had it, I would be a happy man. Fools, the both of them.

  15. Gary Says:

    A: What’s your favorite hobby?

    B: Cheating on my spouse on the internet.

    A: That’s my favorite hobby, too! This is going to work out great…

  16. IGotBupkis, "'Faeces Evenio', Mr. Holder?" Says:

    }}} Or are you caught in a Borges story?

    Or something by O. Henry…. :-D

  17. IGotBupkis, "'Faeces Evenio', Mr. Holder?" Says:

    }}} Except in this case they were both guilty of exactly the same 2-faced behavior.

    I would think that makes it harder, not easier, to reconcile.

    It should have made them realize the problem was not their infidelity, OR their issues with one another — it was “What we got here, is FAILURE TO COMMUNICATE.”

    They clearly HAD solved their problems when they communicated. But somehow, they’d lost that way on their way to the event.

    There was no betrayal, except of their oaths TO EACH OTHER, to “love, honor, and cherish”. And there was no mistaking the pot, kettle, color part of any recriminations.

    These people are just plain stupid, and they deserve the hell they both bought with their selfishness.

  18. Ymarsakar Says:

    So the reason why the Obamas and Clintons are still together is successful communication between evil hearts?

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Previously a lifelong Democrat, born in New York and living in New England, surrounded by liberals on all sides, I've found myself slowly but surely leaving the fold and becoming that dread thing: a neocon.
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