May 9th, 2016

Gives “Finger lickin’ good!” a whole new meaning

Hey, why not?:

If you can’t seem to kick that awful nail-biting habit, you might as well get some flavor out of it with KFC’s new chicken-flavored edible nail polish. It comes in two different flavors – ‘Original’ (beige), and ‘Hot & Spicy’ (red), and is quite literally “Finger Lickin’ Good”!

The product was developed by marketing firm Ogilvy & Mather for KFC Hong Kong, in collaboration with the company that provides KFC’s blend of herbs and spices. “Yes, it’s actually a real thing,” confirmed Ogilvy & Mather employee Anna Mugglestone. “It takes like chicken. It’s crazy.”

Each ‘flavor’ of nail polish comes packaged in a “designer bottle and box” (no bucket, sadly). Customers can paint their nails with the product and proceed to lick their fingertips “again and again and again,” to enjoy the flavors of KFC anytime, anywhere. And if you’re worried about safety, the chain claims that the product is “sourced from natural ingredients”.

Sounds like The Onion, but I guess it’s real. Wouldn’t appeal to me; I had KFC chicken recently and it was dreadful—soggy and tasteless.

The whole thing reminds me, though, of this Mary Poppins story. The finger-lickin tastiness possessed by the character “Mrs. Corry” leaves KFC-flavored nail polish behind in a cloud of dust. It’s a great great story, too, one of my very favorites:

…”What’s all this I hear?” cried the curious high little voice, coming nearer. And presently, round the corner of the glass case the owner of it appeared. She was as small as her voice and as crackly, and to the children she seemed to be older than anything in the world, with her wispy hair and her sticklike legs and her wizened, wrinkled little face. But in spite of this she ran towards them as lightly and as gaily as though she were still a young girl.

“Now, now, now — well, I do declare! Bless me if it isn’t Mary Poppins, with John and Barbara Banks. What — Jane and Michael, too? Well, isn’t this a nice surprise for me? I assure you I haven’t been so surprised since Christopher Columbus discovered America — truly I haven’t!”

She smiled delightedly as she came to greet them, and her feet made little dancing movements inside the tiny elastic-sided boots. She ran to the perambulator and rocked it gently, crooking her thin, twisted, old fingers at John and Barbara until they stopped crying and began to laugh.

“That’s better!” she said, cackling gaily. Then she did a very odd thing. She broke off two of her fingers and gave one each to John and Barbara. And the oddest part of it was that in the space left by the broken-off fingers two new ones grew at once. Jane and Michael clearly saw it happen.

“Only Barley-Sugar — can’t possibly hurt ’em,” the old lady said to Mary Poppins.

“Anything you give them, Mrs. Corry, could only do them good,” said Mary Poppins with most surprising courtesy.

“What a pity,” Michael couldn’t help saying, “they weren’t Peppermint Bars.”

“Well, they are, sometimes,” said Mrs. Corry gleefully, “and very good they taste, too. I often nibble ’em myself, if I can’t sleep at night. Splendid for the digestion.”

“What will they be next time?” asked Jane, looking at Mrs. Corry’s fingers with interest.

“Aha!” said Mrs. Corry. “That’s just the question. I never know from day to day what they will be. I take the chance, my dear, as I heard William the Conqueror say to his Mother when she advised him not to go conquering England.”

“You must be very old!” said Jane, sighing enviously, and wondering if she would ever be able to remember what Mrs. Corry remembered.

Mrs. Corry flung back her wispy little head and shrieked with laughter.

“Old!” she said. “Why, I’m quite a chicken compared to my Grandmother. Now, there’s an old woman if you like. Still, I go back a good way. I remember the time when they were making this world, anyway, and I was well out of my teens then. My goodness, that was a to-do, I can tell you…

And note the chicken reference at the beginning of that last paragraph.

9 Responses to “Gives “Finger lickin’ good!” a whole new meaning”

  1. Cornhead Says:

    Cheetos are big sellers in Japan.

  2. Ed (from Ypsilanti) Bonderenka Says:

    Cheetoh is a big seller here, too.
    Not that I’d care to vote for him.

  3. OM Says:

    Can’t tell if he is Puffs, Crunchy(?), or Spicy

  4. CV Says:

    I guess KFC is really thinking out of the box these days.

    My son will be attending his first prom this week. As we were researching corsage ideas, we encountered the KFC corsage:

    http://www.fannycrown.com/press/blog/worlds-first-corsage-can-eat-chicken-corsage/

  5. Jesse Jackson Says:

    Should sell like hotcakes down in the hood.

    O tempora! O mores!

  6. SCOTTtheBADGER Says:

    Are you postulating a Unified Chicken Theory?

  7. Julie near Chicago Says:

    SCOTT: Wasn’t Professor Einstein working on something like that? LOLOL!

  8. Mrs Whatsit Says:

    The Mary Poppins books are so much weirder and wilder than the saccharine movie ever dared to be – or than anything for children dares to be today. All those witchy heathenish mythic roots. Time to reread them, I think!

    As for KFC, the chicken may be disappointing, but the cole slaw is fantastic. Think I’ll pass on the fingernails.

  9. brdavis9 Says:

    Chicken n’ Mo. Downtown Spokane.

    …order with a side of red beans and rice. And a 2nd side of mustard greens.

    You likely won’t find better fried chicken anywhere. I never have.

    When there’s ‘ardly no day nor ‘ardly no night
    There’s things ‘alf in shadow and ‘alfway in light

    Now you know.

    Chim-chim-che-ree.

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