Home » Breatharians

Comments

Breatharians — 26 Comments

  1. I’m not a Breatharian, but in my retirement, I’ve learned that old people are the most efficient energy converters that the world has ever seen. For every pound of food that I eat, my body makes ten pounds of fat.

    If engineers could figure out how to capture the energy difference between old people’s food consumption and fat production, then everybody would get free heat in the winter and free air conditioning in the summer. As a bonus, I’d lose a few pounds.

    This is a known fact: old people don’t need food. Every once in a while, just park them out in the sun and fresh air, and they’ll be fine. Nursing homes get it. When their relatives visit, the old-timers have regular meals, but it’s just for show. Otherwise, it’s jello morning, noon, and night.

    Believe me, sorority girls didn’t invent the jello shot. Have you ever seen anybody willingly eat jello? Still, jello sales keep going up, and they closely track the growing population of old people. Lots of baby boomers are retiring, so jello stocks will go through the roof. I’m invested. Just a tip. Not that I’m quite ready to live on jello shots and sunshine. My skin is too pale. In fact, to spot a Breatharian, look first among the sunburned.

  2. Figures a cult claiming food-less nutrition can be obtained in the universe would get its start in India. I mean, for many of that nations inhabitants, that could be a form of wishful denial.
    I can see how this would rapidly spread to California first, then inflict the rest of the blue states in turn.
    Im hoping this gets some traction as this could be the only thing that saves this country.

  3. I’m with Harry on this: push it in costal CA, NY City and Denver to begin with. Perhaps if Trump were to speak out against it, the folks in those locations would eagerly adopt it and march in the street in favor of it.

  4. I read about that couple earlier today and my scam-meter went crazy. Apparently the “journalist” took everything they said at face value, despite its blatant impossibility.
    Looked up some articles and Snoped them, and it’s pretty clear that the Breatharian Elites survive because they cheat.

  5. F: “Perhaps if Trump were to speak out against it, the folks in those locations would eagerly adopt it and march in the street in favor of it.”

    That would be too delicious.

  6. The NY Post gave much space to two people who are patent frauds and liars.
    It is biologically impossible to go thru a nine month gestation without food and deliver a healthy infant.
    Normally, death occurs within six, sometimes as late as eight weeks of no sustenance aside from water, as has occurred in many hunger strikes..
    The child welfare authorities should pounce on them.

  7. Frog, you unbeliever.
    You are operating on the level of insight you currently have.
    If you were to only pay the money to get the magic words, I’m sure you would see it different.
    However, If I had the money to buy that program…
    I’d be living at Ruth Crists….

  8. “He also–after telling us he was a Breatharian who barely needed to eat a thing to stay alive–proceeded to help himself to several of the barbecued ribs that we were eating that evening.”

    He didn’t give up eating he gave up buying.

    I’ve seen people quit smoking that way. They quit buying and start bumming.

  9. Ed:
    Burp! I had a prime ribeye steak done rare tonight, covered in homegrown Anaheim chiles. Better than Ruth Chris’s!

  10. “I’m not a Breatharian, but in my retirement, I’ve learned that old people are the most efficient energy converters that the world has ever seen. For every pound of food that I eat, my body makes ten pounds of fat.”

    Boy, is this the truth! I have developed the same amazing skill as I’ve grown, um, “wiser” and “more experienced” 🙂

  11. I’m more of a “Breathedarian.” There is no god but Bill the Cat and Opus is his prophet!

  12. What’s more bizarre to me than people claiming to be breatharians, are the normal people reacting with … mere skepticism. People on Facebook arguing against it and posting the Snopes article — as if that’s necessary. Let’s keep it simple folks: 100% of “Breatharians” are shameless liars who do in fact both eat and drink on a regular basis.

  13. KevinF:

    Actually, I would guess that some are delusional.

    I’m pretty sure the guy I knew was delusional.

  14. Ok…this is why it’s fun to live on the other side of the planet.

    Up at sparrow’s fart & read about “fat conversion” & Bill the Cat worship & my first cup of coffee shoots straight out my nose.

    Thank you! and I mean that.

  15. I once talked with a Breatharian at a New Age Expo in San Francisco. He was a tall skinny black man with big hair manning the Breatharian booth. He was pretty cranky with everyone.

    Later it occurred to me he was probably pretty hungry from having to walk the Breatharian talk during the expo. I’ll bet could have used a Diet Coke and a Mickey D. cheeseburger.

  16. There was a German Catholic mystic, Therese Neumann, who claimed to have taken no food nor liquid, except Holy Communion from 1923-1962.

    She was studied by two doctors and four nurses for 15 days, 24/7.They found no cheating but she did lose 8.5 lbs, which she regained within a few days after the study was complete. Some found this suspicious. Others said she was a fake.

    She had other miraculous claims and many Catholics still take her seriously. The Catholic Church has been considering her for sainthood since 2005, but has not yet taken that step.

    I suspect the Church won’t canonize her. That process is quite rigorous. (The Vatican actually called in Christopher Hitchens to testify against Mother Teresa!) Neumann is bit too dubious.

  17. I had a friend who adhered steadfastly to a macrobiotic diet back in the 70s. Somehow she got to feeling tired and depressed all the time.

    Then she had a steak dinner with a friend and bounced right back. A week later she returned to her lethargy.

    Finally she went to a doctor who told her she was running a several quarts low on B12. In fact she had damaged herself and had to be careful to take B12 supplements thereafter.

    I was vegetarian for a few years back in those days. But eventually I noticed how crummy I felt eating that way. Meanwhile a solid tuna melt or a burger would pick me right up.

    I never looked back.

  18. You’ve got to learn to get to know the one you love
    To anticipate her every move
    You got to know exactly what she’s thinking of
    She may be hungry
    She won’t say
    You better get a burger or something in her right away

    –Randy Newman, “The One You Love”

  19. Your problem, neo, is that you are trying to understand people. In order for us to understand people, we’d have to be smarter than ourselves. This is very difficult.

    You will enjoy life much more if you stop trying to understand the necessarily mysterious and the ineffable minds of humanity.

  20. Older folks who put on weight easily or stay large even while on nursing home diets. may have hypothyroidism. they take a blood test to confirm it. & naturally your metabolism slows down when you have this & it is quite common as people age there is medication for it though, left untreated it can cause heart damage.

  21. I long ago learned that many people don’t like my sense of humor, or they choose to ignore it. Once again, point taken, and I’ll try harder to restrain myself.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

HTML tags allowed in your comment: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>