February 8th, 2018

Meeting cute in New York apartments

Here’s an article in the NY Post about couples who met because they lived near one another in apartment buildings. Then they fell in love and got married.

It used to be a somewhat common way to meet. Apparently it still happens now and then, despite the vast inroads of internet dating.

I was reading and enjoying the article and the stories and thinking how nice that was, but I had almost finished it before I remembered: that’s how I met my husband!

Serendipity. I was starting law school and looking for a place to live. I was 21 years old, and while I was searching for a permanent apartment I was living in another apartment temporarily, staying in one of four bedrooms and paying them weekly rent for it. A guy who was a friend of a friend of one of the roommates who was away in Europe was staying in the next room.

It was love at first sight, I must say, something that had never happened to me before or since. It led to a three-decades-long marriage and a wonderful son. Also a divorce. But still, not a bad stint of apartment-hunting.

Oh, and I did find a wonderful house with five bedrooms and moved into one of them, staying there for two pleasant years.

15 Responses to “Meeting cute in New York apartments”

  1. Frederick Says:

    I noticed, reading the article, that most of the couples were from the last decade, not the current decade, so I question the timeliness of this “trend”.

  2. Baklava Says:

    Your ex lost out!

    In 2008, my neighbor winked at me on match and then emailed me. Her picture wasn’t up and she thought it would be cute to say, “You’ll be pleasantly surprised because you know me”.

    So, I analyzed and thought. Then I realized it must be the neighbor. We met, and it was.

    What I did know about her was that she inherited the house, had a dog that she kept outside and barked terribly, drove a luxury car and these were not positive things to me.

    Attractiveness is one thing but getting to know somebody is essential. Approximity provides two people to observe things and weed them out of the candidate pool.

  3. neo-neocon Says:


    I noticed that, too.

    But some were young.

  4. Baklava Says:

    And yes, off topic but this 7% wage gap is amazing news to me.

  5. parker Says:

    Love at first sight for me and my sweetheart. Still strong after all these years. August 13 will be 49 years. Old friends and lovers.

  6. Baklava Says:

    Horrible joke at FreeRepublic today. 🙂 LOL

  7. y81 Says:

    Wow, divorced after 30 years of marriage! My wife and I are about to have our 25th anniversary, and I said maybe we should have a party, and she said it might be a jinx. So I don’t think we will. But I’m not actually worried: I can’t imagine getting divorced at this point.

  8. Philip Says:

    I live in an apartment.

    Briefly, the one upstairs from me was once occupied by a cute young lady. At some point, I heard that she’d been on the Oprah show, saw the clip on the webs, and got it into my head to write her a little note asking for a date. Nothing happened as a result, but I like to tell the story now and again.

  9. Tom G Says:

    I’m sorry every time I read about your divorce. You’re willing to mention it, but I don’t recall seeing much about it — you have no tag on it.

    I think there’s a LOT that can be said about divorce, but maybe in a post about meeting a cutie from nearby isn’t the place. I’d be very interested in what books you think are most relevant for you in thinking about / handling your own case.

  10. M J R Says:

    Twenty years ago, now-wife and I were both members of an on-line discussion group. Many of us became e-friends.

    As time marched on, we went separate ways, and then one of us sent an e-greeting to a bunch of the others, basically, “hey-how y’all doin'”. I reported back that my then-wife had just recently died, and now-wife reported back that she and her then-husband had just recently split irrevocably.

    Now-wife and I got to e-mailing and telephoning very frequently, generally to put heads together as to how best to navigate the new-to-us world of singlehood. We both were *sure* we were not going to be married to anyone again.

    Long-story-short: now-wife and I will be celebrating ten years of marriage this summer.

    (What’s interesting is our first meeting in person. We had gotten to know each other, via group discussion, e-mail, and telephone so well, that our first actual in-person meeting (I flew across the country to meet her) was a mere formality. Footnote: and that’s how M J R ended up living in California.)

  11. Mike K Says:

    Sounds like “Goodbye Girl>”

  12. Molly Brown Says:

    That is how my parents met! An apartment building in Washington D.C.
    I love asking couples their “How we met” story.
    This is my favorite – it was told to me by a friend, about her parents.
    A young man and a woman meet on a train in China, shortly after the end of WWII. He had been working for the Americans and was returning to the base preparatory to emigrating. She had fled home from an miserable arranged marriage and was being sent back to her new family by her unsympathetic mother. They talked, and she cried, all day. She had no money and now, no way to escape. He left the train first and as he was leaving he gave her a box of tissues and told her where he would be for the next few weeks before leaving for America.
    When she got to the bottom of the tissue box, there was $100 dollars.
    They had three children and a long happy marriage.

  13. Ed Bonderenka Says:

    My wife and I met at church. I saw her there and at McDonalds afterwards with 6 kids around her.
    I had two.
    And a small house.
    Once I found out that they were her (now my) nieces and nephews, we started dating, and married a month later.
    Yesterday was 26 years.

  14. ArmyMom Says:

    My husband and I met at college. We both lived in a dorm that had two buildings (one for guys and one for girls) that had a common area in the middle with cafeteria facilities there too. I was kind of seeing a guy who happened to introduce me to a friend of his who happened to work in the dorm office. I was smitten by the friend and not too enamored of the first guy so I slowly stopped seeing the first guy but did nothing about friend.

    Since I was working as a waitress at the time I had a little money and could afford to buy 2 tickets to an upcoming concert. I did not want to go with my old boyfriend so I ended up out of the blue contacting the office guy. I did the whole thing of sweating while asking him out on a date. Office guy agreed to go out and offered to drive (which was good since I did not have a car….I didn’t that through at the time). I paid for the whole date since it was my idea despite how much office guy protested. I felt like it would not be good for me to ask him out and expect him to pay for it. It was a great date!!

    Office guy turned into my husband of now 34 years. We have 3 awesome kids and now 1 grand child. I like to laugh and tell the story with the ending that I asked him out and paid for our date and have been paying for it ever since. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. No amount is too much to pay for the crazy life we have had together so far.

  15. chuck Says:

    IIRC, Leon Fleisher’s wife introduced herself after she heard him practicing the piano through that old community conversation, a New York City air shaft.

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Previously a lifelong Democrat, born in New York and living in New England, surrounded by liberals on all sides, I've found myself slowly but surely leaving the fold and becoming that dread thing: a neocon.

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